I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

And it was! The first that I can remember in a long long time.

Hope you all had a lovely one!

Merry Christmas!

And Happy New Year!

Dead things Mikey

We went to see The Two Towers this weekend with some friends. As awesome as the first one and I can't wait for the extended DVD to hit the stores for purchase.

My favorite part though, I have to admit is when Frodo and Sam were travelling through the bog and Sam looked down at the water and said "There are dead things! There are dead things in there!"

For those who aren't part of my generation or have simply forgotten, the actor who plays Sam, Sean Astin, was also Mikey in Goonies. Bringing to mind the scene in the attic, and the line "Dead things Mikey! Dead things!"

I love writers with a sense of humour.

Car design

First let me start with a funny story about my grandmother. She got a new car a little over a year ago and it had those new levers to open and close the windows. You know, the kind where you push down like a button but then actually pull the little lever up to close them? Well she went to the post box on her way to work and put the window down just fine. Then couldn't figure out how to close it. She started driving towards work and decided the other button on the panel, next to the first button, must be the one you push to close the window. So now both front windows are open. Through process of elimination she pushes the other two buttons and winds up driving to work, on the parkway, with all four car windows open.

Hysterically funny, right?

This morning I got to drive the new car to work. It was raining, well, more misty than anything, when I started anyway. I didn't know how to turn the windshield wipers on. I managed to turn on the rear windshield wipers. I found out how to spray the windshield with wiper fluid. And that was it. The whole way in I held the wiper bar down because that was the only way I could see how to drive. Once I got in, I broke out the manual to see what I was doing wrong or if it was really my car that was broken.

I had turned the right knob at one point, just clockwise instead of counter-clockwise. D'OH!

I'll never laugh at my grandmother and her window incident again.

Ahhh....that new car smell

We picked up the Vue last night. VERY nice. It's been so long since I've had a new car, almost 11 years to be exact.

It was beautiful. Green with tan interior. That lovely smell of fresh everything...they put in the wrong CD player but Andy's swapping that for me today, so tomorrow I get to hit the road!!!

It's the most wonderful man in the world...

We went out last night to run some errands. Andy says "We should stop by the Saturn dealer and see if they got any green Vues to see if you like that color."

To preface we've been talking about getting a Vue for about 3 years.

So we get to the dealer, there's a green one. It's much nicer than it looks on the website, and I decide, that's a good color for me. We take it out on a test drive because I hadn't tried out the V4 the last time we took a test drive. It was lovely. We get back to the dealer and go inside. The salesman asks "So do you want me to try and find a green one for you?" Andy turns to me and says "Do you want it?" Of course I do! I've wanted one for years, don't mess with me. Then to my surprise we actually sit down and get one!!! He was going to surprise me with one for Christmas, but didn't want to get me a green one if I didn't like that color, and he wasn't sure what other little things I wanted with it.

We're picking up my new baby tomorrow.

What a wonderful man.

Congrats!!

To Pat and Kelly on their brand new baby boy Jack!

The new job

It's been going well. Aside from adjusting back from vacation thinking. That first day of getting up at 6 AM again was a little rough on the system. But I'm adjusting. New jobs are always a little hairy the first week.

The folks here are terrific. Lots of fun, lots people to talk to etc. The hardest part is going to be adjusting to the new systems. Like using Lotus Notes. I've been an Outlook girl for years. Not that one's harder than the other, just what I'm used to.

More excitement to come. I'll fill you in on more after our holiday lunch next week!

A lot of stuff

A lot has been going on lately. Between the snow, and the new job, and the 'rents being home.

And suddenly everything seems to be on hyper speed. My folks can't possibly be leaving at the end of this week can they? They just got here. Christmas can't possibly only be two weeks away can it? I haven't bought hardly anything yet. The new job can't possibly have started today could it? I just gave my notice a little bit ago, right?

It's almost unreal. I guess it's just nature's way of helping you deal with major shocks. Sort of like how most of what I remember of our wedding day somehow seems to have compressed down into about 20 key minutes worth of events. Not that our wedding day was a shock!!! Just a lot of activity in a 24 hour period.

Somehow this year is almost over and I can't remember how I got here. This is not my beautiful house...

Creepy Crawlies

There's a wolf spider in our laundry room sink. It's been there about a month. It's about and inch or so big. I'm not a spider fan. But since it's been there so long and has been happily eating up our camel crickets and silverfish, I've decided it could make a decent pet. I've named it Aragog.

And yes I know that makes me the ultimate Harry Potter geek.

Ah...the smell of fresh puke in the morning

Andy had to be at Hopkins early this morning for a spinal tap. Although not as early as he was up for Black Friday at Best Buy. And to help, it snowed. We don't get much snow in Maryland, so when we do everyone seems to panic. Thankfully, Andy's mother came with us. Or I should say, drove us. I can't say how grateful I am for that. I HATE driving in the snow. And once we got there I had even more to be grateful to her for (aside from the company, and comfort of knowing we weren't alone there).

We got up to Baltimore right on time for Andy's appointment. We waited for a little while and Andy was called back. We had some stuff with us so I went back with him while Mom hung out up front. I had brought a backpack with books; Christmas cards to write; and a spare shirt, hat, and gloves in case we got caught in the snow somewhere.

Once Andy was settled in and his temperature had been taken, it looked like we'd be allowed to stay in the room while they did the procedure. I ran back out front and grabbed Mom, my bag, and back we went. The doctor came in after a little bit and got Andy situated on his side on the table, and asked Mom and me if either of us were the fainting/getting sick types. We assured him no and off we went.

When things got rolling I started feeling queasy. I still haven't figured out why. I'm not the type to get sick. It must have been the combination of the early morning, no breakfast, and big dose of nerves for Andy. Folks started noticing I was looking green and pulled the curtain partway around the bed. Not that I had seen anything in the first place. Except the size of the needle that is. Maybe that was what set me off. Mom rubbed my back until I felt better and everything was OK until the doctor hit something. Apparently a nerve from Andy's description afterwards.

That was the end of the water I had had a few minutes ago. Everything came up. On me. On Mom. Some made the trashcan. Most made my lap. I was very happy I had a spare shirt, and only slightly upset that my snow paranoia hadn't extended to a spare pair of pants. After that I stayed out of the room until everything was over. Andy made it through fine, and is busy reading his "So you've just had a Lumbar Puncture" booklet.

Painfully behind

I've not been keeping up lately, I've been incredibly, happily busy.

Sunday I went to a baby shower, my first where it was actually a surprise to the guest of honor. She thought it was a Pampered Chef get together and so brought deviled eggs for the feast. Probably one of the few mothers to be who brought food to her own shower! But Jenn was delightfully surprised and I really enjoyed being there with her and all of her friends. Hearing about how long they've known each other and being let in on some of the inside story of their lives. I got to visit with Tina too. A nice surprise, I haven't had a chance to catch up with her in quite a while.

Monday was the beginning of the cooking week. I went over to my grandmother's house in the morning, and she my dad and I, spent a lovely day destroying food. We always make a homemade candy that includes dates, nuts, and rice crispies. My grandmother's happily stirring the concoction while my dad chops nuts. All's well, until the annoucement comes from the stove "Candy's done." My dad looks up from chopping. "How can it be done? I'm still chopping the nuts to go in it? And we haven't added the Karo syrup, or the rice crispies, or the extract??" I'd like to point out that this candy is a bit fussy and you have to get it to the right consistency on the stove before pouring it out and shaping it into little balls, otherwise it could wind up anywhere from ooey gooey taffy, or dry as a bone crunch balls. My dad frantically added ingredients into the already correct consistency mixture, and I think added just a little too many rice crispies. What we got was pecan date breakfast cereal. The candy didn't candy. It didn't hold together at all. Not that it didn't taste as wonderful as it always does. In fact it tasted great in a bowl with some milk. After that I made an apple cake. Worked out well until I turned it out of the pan. Half came out, the other didn't. Tasted good. Didn't look pretty. We sort of gave up baking after that, and went on to cooking. We had a recipe for cornbread stuffing that we'd never tried before. And we fudged a few things, we had no sage in the house for one, and it actually turned out incredibly well. I was a little worried after the morning we'd had. We also got the tree up and decorated while we were in the holiday spirit.

Tuesday we went shopping. We drove up to Hagerstown and hit the outlets. Such fun! I love shopping anyway, and outlet shopping is one of my favorites. Of course it was cold. In fact it snowed before we left. But that was fun too. Put us in the holiday mood. After that we had movie night at my place. O Brother Where Art Thou. One of my all time favorites.

Wednesday, back to cooking. A much larger success this time.

Thursday, Turkey Day. Still full.

Friday. Black Friday. I woke Andy up at 3:30 AM so he could get over to Best Buy for the best buys. He succeeded. A whole passle of stuff for only $200 after rebate. Not a bad deal. After he got back we had a little breakfast and headed back out again, this time to the mall to meet up with my folks and grandmother. The mall really wasn't that bad. Busier than usual, but not insane yet. After a few Christmas present purchases, we headed over to the theatre in hopes of catching the 12:15 showing of Harry Potter. No way. Sold out. So I stood in line to buy tickets for the 3:40, and then we toodled off to lunch. Came back, stood in line, and got some damn fine seats. Good movie. Not as good as the first I thought, and no where as good as the book. But movies never are so not surprising.

Saturday I headed out to the malls again to get a few last minute Christmas purchases done (we did Christmas with my folks on Sunday) then came back home and went to Andy's folks house to help decorate their tree. After that I was completely in the holidy mood, so I did up our porch with a wreath and pine roping. Lights to come later.

Sunday, Christmas! We all went to see Les Miserables at the National Theatre after church. Great show, great cast, great that my sister finally got to see it after waiting 14 years. Then back to my grandmother's for Christmas presents. Hurrah!!! Goodies!

Almost Turkey day

Been trying to wrap things up at work so I can take next week off guilt free and enjoy prepping for Thanksgiving/Christmas with my family. Then back to work for 2 days then off again for 5 days and it's time for the new job.

I'm really excited by the idea of starting at the new place. But also nervous too. Comes with the territory I guess. I remember interviewing for my first job and then having folks tell me what my responibilities would be. And thinking to myself "they want me to do all that????" By the time I'd been there two months I was looking around for more to do and couldn't believe that I'd ever thought I couldn't handle the job. Same with my current role. Couldn't believe the amount of things I was expected to handle and now handle with incredible ease.

Life is always new and exciting, and I can't wait for the next bit!

They're here!!!

My folks are home. At last. It was so good to see them again. Actually feel them hugging me and not pretending they were while reading an email. I got some presents, which is always good. It reminded me of when I was little and they would go away on a trip. There was always a surprise in the suitcase for me when they got back.

So now 4 lovely weeks of doing things with my folks. I think even just watching tv with them will be great just because I haven't seen them in so long. More details on what we actually do coming soon.

Tuesday morning was actually a little rough. My folks got into BWI late-ish and made it over to my grandmother's by around 9:30. Happiness ensued and by the time we'd all calmed down enough to realize we were tired it was 11 o'clock. Andy and I had a half hour drive home. Delayed by an accident and a fireman who really didn't understand that I COULD have gone through the intersection the three different times the light turned green. I finally made it to bed around midnight. My usual bedtime is between 9-10. Then at 5 am my alarm went off. Time to get up and watch the meteor shower.

I'm really glad I got up. Andy and I bundled up got out the folding chairs and sat down by our lake and watched the show. It was amazing. Streaks of lights going across the sky, every minute or more often. Sometimes 2 or 3 in rapid sucession. I counted about 60 in the 40 minutes I was outside. Then I and the dog got cold and went in. Andy stayed out for longer and saw some pretty cool stuff.

After that I went back to bed. And got up again in an hour. Paying attention at work yesterday wasn't easy. All of it worth it though. Last night sleep hit at about 8:30. Don't know if I dreamed, or talked or what. I was dead to the world until the alarm went off again this morning.

Another new bundle of joy!!!

Congratulations!!!! To Sam and Sherri, proud new parents of baby boy, Ethan Jordan!!!!

Names removed to protect the innocent

I'm reviewing resumes for people to fill my position. I just received one with a picture attached.

I laughed so hard I cried. Then I forwarded it on to my friend. Her response...

ick. do people do that nowadays? like is she thinking "ooh, i am a white female. have that going for me. must let them know before interview."

Laughed until I fell out of my chair.

DEER!

There's a sign on my way home from work. You know, one of those yellow signs with the jumping deer on it. And then underneath the deer silhouette there's a distance posted. So you know how long you should watch for deer.

The sign I'm thinking of says "Next 2 3/10 miles"

Do the deer automatically stop when they hit that 3/10 of a mile?

Hey Gary stop!
What's the matter George?
You've gone 4/10s of a mile!
Well crap! Now I'm gonna get a ticket.

WHEW!

I'm leaving my current job and going to work for a more stable, more Laura friendly place, not too far away from my house at the beginning of December.

Changing jobs this time was nothing like my last experience. My first job out of school, was my only job for 3 years. When I left the company, most of my co-workers and friends had been laid off or had left, and those who hadn't were cheering me on for my interviews.

This time around, was definitely different. Not that anyone was shocked when I told them I was leaving, but building up the courage to actually tell them was not something I'd speculated for. I'm not sure why I had butterflies. I can't imagine they would have yelled at me. But now that it's out, I feel a lot better. And now I can start prepping for my switch.

Time to pack up the pictures and knick-knacks. Time to make sure all my files are in order. Time to say goodbye.

And more...

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To put out flaming ducks.

And while I'm in the bad joke vein...

Why do ducks have flat feet?

To put out forest fires.

Get it?

Two headhunters run into each other in the jungle. They haven't seen each other for a while and start chatting about what's been going on.

Head Hunter #1: I caught one of the missionaries the other day
Head Hunter #2: Oh yeah?
HH1: Yeah, one of those all covered in brown. I boiled him up, and he tasted AWFUL!
HH2: Boiled him you say? One of those missionaries all covered in brown?
HH1: That was him alright
HH2: Well there's your problem. You don't boil those. Those are friers!

A bit oblivious

I walked down to the Food Lion yesterday at lunch time to pick up a few odds and ends. On my walk back to the office I had the plastic bag on my wrist and my hands jammed in my coat pockets, since it was chilly.

What I didn't pay any attention to was that the plastic around my wrist twisted just a hair every time my leg bumped the bag. It wasn't until I got back to my office, and in the elevator I noticed my hand was numb and the bag had a strangle hold on me.

Is there anything better than Indian food?

My garlic naan so delightfully sharp and bitter, with the sweet bits of garlic on top and the bite of cilantro.
Chicken Tikka Makhani so delicious in it's creamy, curry, goodness.

I could eat it all day long.

You say burgundy, I say wine

I recently went to J. Crew and tried on a lovely red sweater. It was on a Sunday. I went back on Tuesday to make my purchase.

Apparently when J. Crew gets a new shipment in, anything that was in the store prior to that vanishes. They had just gotten a new shipment of clothes in that morning and put them all out. Thus, no red sweater.

I searched thoroughly and then became frustrated and asked a salesgirl, where I could find the wine colored, merino wool sweaters that they had out on Sunday. She pulled the sleeve on her sweater and asked "Like the one I'm wearing?" I answered "No, these were merino v-neck sweaters." She responded "OK" and led me to a pile of the identical sweater she was wearing. A turtle-necked, sky blue, boucle sweater. I almost lost it. What kind of sales people, don't know their own merchandise let alone totally ignore the customer?

Apparently a more direct approach was needed. I led her to a table piled high with merino v-necks and said "Like these, but wine colored." She looked panicked and called to another saleman. He came over and asked how he could help. In that 2 seconds the girl had vanished completely. So I repeated my original question, and stated that were about 50 of them on this exact table 2 days earlier. When I finished asking about the wine colored sweaters, he said and I honestly, and truly quote "Red or white wine?"

I stared as if the man had grown 3 extra heads. Then turned to another table, picked up a wine colored shirt, held it up and said "Wine colored." The response, and once again I honestly and truly quote the man "OH! That's Burgundy"

It took full self control not to tell the man that Burgundy is a wine. And that not all wine comes in boxes labeled red and white. He went back to the stock room for 5 minutes, presumably to study his color chart, then returned to say that nope, they were all gone.

All this, is why I purchased my wine colored merino sweater from Lord & Taylor yesterday.

!!!!

I think I used a few too many exclamation marks in that last post. Can you tell I was a little excited?

Baby Shower #3

Just got invited to my third ever baby shower! Thanks!!!

I will, of course, fill everyone in on all the lovely details after I go. I may soon become an expert at those games! I can now distinguish carrots from squash in bottles of baby food that have no labels!

But they don't have sales tax in Connecticuit

I went shopping at lunch. A favorite pastime since the mall is literally a block away. As went in to Lord & Taylor to hunt down a cheap merino sweater, I noticed one striking thing. The only women shopping were the age of my grandmother, or my age with children. Maybe the women my age that work, don't like to shop at Lord & Taylor. But this reallly wasn't what I was going to write about.

As I was standing in line to purchase my newly found sweater, I was behind 3, count 'em 3, grandmas. The first 2 went fairly quickly. The third, wanted to do an exchange. *Rolls eyes* Now of course, everyone has to make an exchange once in a while. But this one was in front of me, and the clerk had been trained on exchanges, but behaved as if he'd never actually had the opportunity to do one.

This befuddled me a little bit because he had one of those gold pins on his namebadge, signifying he was a "good" employee. How can you be that stellar if you don't know how to do an exchange, quickly and efficiently?

The woman wasn't helping either. First she wanted the man to scan the clothes she was returning, because the clothes she was buying were on clearance and if the clothes she was exchanging were less than the ones she wanted then she just wanted to do a return. He dutifully scanned the tags on the clothes to see what the prices were. Since the clothes being exchanged were the EXACT ones she was trying to buy, they of course came up in the system as the exact price of the ones she'd just picked out. The sales clerk didn't even seem to comprehend that this might be the case.

So on we went, first the pants. When the gift receipt information was punched in and the new pants were scanned, lo and behold she got back $10! She blinked, the clerk blinked, her husband standing slightly off to the side blinked. The pants she'd gotten as a gift had obviously been purchased before the reduction. But she got her $10 and smiled happily while he started working on the shirt.

The shirt, she mentioned, to him, her husband, and oddly enough to me, was not on sale, so it should be a flat exchange. As the salesman was working on this piece, he looked up at me and said, there's another cashier at the other end of the store if you;d like to go down there. No way. I'd already waited out 2 grandma's and half of this one. I wasn't going to the other end to wait in another line so I could simply charge my $30 sweater. Grandma #3 turned to me again at this point and said, I always go check out the other register and wind up in a line. You were smart for staying here.

The shirt it turns out required $2.45 to be paid. Everybody blinked again. And grandma #3 said "OH, but there's no sales tax in Connecticuit." Obviously where the gift had been purchased. "Why do I have to pay the sales tax when it should just be a flat exchange?" The salesman point out to her that we do have sales tax in MD and since she was purchasing the new item here, tax would have to be paid. Grandma #3 blinked again and looked befuddled. The saleman (smart guy) quickly pointed out then that she'd already gotten $10 on the pants. She decided, $7.55 plus the shirt and pants, was a fair enough exchange. But she mumbled to her husband the whole way out of the store, that it would've probably been better if they'd made the exchange in Connecticuit.

I never heard her husband say a word the entire time. Smart man.

In case you were wondering...

I went as a Deviled Egg for Halloween.

The times they are a changin'

Every child's favorite thing to do to a dirty car...write "wash me" in the dust. Yesterday while driving home behind a filthy white truck I looked up and saw "www.washme.com/asap"

It is most definitely the computer age.


Or are they?

Of course when I got to the mall I saw kids standing out front playing Hackey Sack. Maybe things aren't that different.

And while you're pondering things....

Two Truths and a Lie

1. I saw Abe Vigoda in a cafe in Prague
2. I went to Sunday school with Amy Carter
3. I climbed to the top of one of my campus buildings while slightly less than sober

Can you tell me which is which?

If your life were a movie...

Who would you pick to play you and the other people in your life?

Me: Claire Danes - I know, I know wishful thinking...
Andy: Keiffer Sutherland (I cheated and asked him though...) although I could do some more wishful thinking and say Ewan McGregor....

I can just hear you reading this now sweetie and saying "HEY!"

Oh um...excuse me

Andy and I went out to dinner last night. It was a lovely little Greek restaurant, and it gives you a very homey feel. Perhaps a little too homey. I was in fact so comforatble there that for five seconds I forgot that we weren't eating dinner at home.

In that 5 seconds I belched. Rather loudly. After we both finished dying of laughter, the waitress came over and asked if we wanted anything else. I personally was quite through for the evening.

Movie review

We recently borrowed 'Waiting for Guffman' and 'Boogie Nights' from a friend of Andy's.

'Waiting for Guffman' was about the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's a fake documentary on Blaine, Missouri, and the small town's sesquicentennial play. The whole time we're laughing our heads off, thinking this is the most absurd thing I've ever seen, part of me is remembering that Fourth of July play I was in when I was 8. Unless you've seen a small town's celebration or been in a church play you don't realize how dangerously close they come to the truth. There are people out there that take this kind of thing seriously! Which of course helps in it's absurdity.

'Boogie Nights' just plain stunk. I was sick of the thing half way through and with about 30 minutes left I got out of the room as fast as I could. I could not watch one more minute of it. It was about the most disgusting, depressing, sickening piece of crap I have ever watched. I don't understand how it could possibly be considered a good movie. It had all the art school tricks. It tried to be a deep movie. But I thought it was just plain gross. The only redeeming thing (if you can call it that) about it at all was that it was about porn. Huh huh...porn. Sorry folks, in case you hadn't guessed, I hated the thing.

I guess you have to have bad movie experiences to make the good ones stand out more.

Project project who's got a project?

I've been itching for things to do lately. I want to repaint the basement. I want to put in a closet organizer in one of the closets down there and turn it into a camping storage space. I want to finish the lights in the kitchen. I want to refinish the deck. I want the front porch repainted, so we can hang the new house numbers and put in the new light. I want toro lights around the patio in the back yard. I want half a million other things to do to the house...maybe because things have been so slow at work my focus has been on home improvement lately.

I think I'm going to wear poor Andy out.

Baby Shower Number 2

I got to go to my second ever baby shower on Saturday. It was just as much fun as the first one. Good food, good people, good games. I actually won one this time!

And of course lots of adorable clothing and toys for the new baby.

Good stuff all around. Looking forward to playing with the new arrival once he makes his appearance!

Just call me Soupy Sales

I've always been a bit on the clumsy side. I tend to drop things, especially if they're delicate and breakable. Well, today I think I reached a new height in my clutziness.

I was making soup from a packet. You know one of those that comes with the beans and seaoning, just needs broth and meat added? Well, things started out ok. I was boiling my water and broth, just time to add the creamy soup base (better known as powdered milk). And for some reason I decided to shake the package before opening it.

POOF

Powder everywhere. All over the counter, all over the appliances, all over the floor, and all over and in my shirt.

I just moaned. Andy called from downstairs "what's wrong?" and came up to see what was the matter. If nothing else he had a very good laugh (and so did I eventually) and the dog had a delightful time licking everything within his reach in the kitchen.

The soup turned out fine.

Talking to myself

Out loud unfortunately. And not always when I'm alone. Making me wonder if sometimes if I've just thought something to myself or did I actually just say that?

CONGRATS!!!

To Greg and Robin, proud new parents of a baby girl!

CONGRATS!!!!

To Lindsay and John on your brand new baby girl!

You can pick your friends...

I was driving home from work on Friday and glanced up into my rear-view mirror and stared. There was a woman in a mini-van behind me. About 30-35 ish. Picking her nose. I don't mean scratching it. I don't mean rubbing it. I mean the full-out, 2 year old, full finger up the nose, wiggling it around, booger picking disgusting type of picking her nose. I don't think I've actually seen anyone over the age of 3 do this. So what did I do? Called Andy immediately on his cell phone to describe the full situation.

Quiet lately

I've been a bit quiet lately, had a lot errands and things to take care of and work has started picking up a bit so I haven't had much time or desire to blog.

I've been trying to scope out some Christmas presents but so far have only succeeded in buying things for myself.

We went to our favorite store last night. You got it, Restoration Hardware. One of these days I swear I'm going to go work there. In any case, we had some gift certificates, the audio cabinet that we've been drooling over went on sale, and they've just started a Restoration Hardware credit card (heaven help us) where you got 10% off your first purchase with it. We also came home with a fireplace screen (I would put in a picture but the website doesn't have one, sorry.)

So our basement will be fully kitted out. Just need to paint it now.

Restraint

Those of you who know what's been going on the in DC Metro area may have noticed that I've not mentioned the shootings that have been going on. I've been hoping it was one of those things that would go away if you ignored it. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case.

A woman was killed last night while loading packages in her car with her husband. The police have linked this latest killing with the other 10 instances. Making her the 9th victim of this madman.

The thing that makes this so downright frightening is that people are trying to go about their everyday lives and some idiot decides they have the right to play God. I hate them for making me afraid when I get my paper in the morning, when I fill my gas tank, when I take my dog outside. I hate letting them win.

Playing with my food

I'm back at the office today. Having a light lunch of crackers, Chicken and Star soup and some ginger-ale, thanks to the Wednesday/Thursday stomach issues.

Currently, I'm contemplating the fine line between having a well dipped cracker, a soggy mess, and bloop it's gone in my soup.

There also seems to be a definitive time limit of how long ginger-ale stays carbonated. I think it's about 5 seconds after the bottle's been opened.

No...NO! DON'T PUKE AGAIN!!!

If you remember my post from August 6th, I bet you're thinking I mean my dog. No such luck. It was me this time. Only at least I managed not to get any on the carpet. And I don't think mine came from eating a sock.

Stomach flu should be banned.

Baby Baby Baby

So...details about the shower...

It was a lot more fun than when I was 8. Yummy, noshy food, little roll sandwiches, brownies, fruit, veggies and dip...all that good stuff. We played some fun games, which seemed to be variations of the games we played at my bridal shower.

The clothespin game - you're not allowed to cross your legs or someone else gets your clothespin. The one with the most clothespins at the end of the party gets a door prize. The variation for the baby shower was you weren't allowed to say 'baby'. Imagine if you will how hard that was.

The crepe streamer game - the bridal shower version involves making a dress out of crepe paper. Baby shower version was cut off a length of streamer that you thought would measure most accurately around mom-to-be's middle. In other words How big is she?

We all got to ooh and ahhh over the cute little things she got. Some toys which I would've wanted to play with!

The thing that amazed me most was the certainty with which some of the guests declared their knowledge of the baby's sex. The couple's decided to leave it as a surprise, which meant most gifts were yellow or green, with an occasional aqua. One woman sitting nearby me though said several times "I KNOW she's having a boy. I'd be so surprised if it wasn't a boy."

Given that there's a 50/50 chance, why the certainty? Another woman said, "She looks like she's having a boy." HUH? She just looked pregnant to me. Maybe the family's just really really hoping for a boy. Or maybe there's some piece of motherly wisdom that they knew and I didn't.

In any case it was a lovely evening and boy or girl, I hope everything turns out healthy and happy for the new family.

Language

Having grown up in Maryland with family from Tennessee I've acquired a strange mish-mosh of accents. I've got the Maryland 'O' so that I go to the p'oh'st office. But I've also got that southern twang on some words. Specifically 'bacon', 'all day' and the words 'pen' and 'pin' are indistinguishable when coming from my mouth.

I think this also affects the way I hear certain words as well, besides amusing Andy to no end. Examples you say? Ok...

Laura's misunderstood song lyrics:
What I heard = what the song actually said
semi-tall kind of life = semi-charmed kind of life
casting deep via stares at my erection = casting devious stares in my direction
you're just like my can of barbasol = you're just like my Ken and Barbie doll

This type of thing is part of what makes me afraid to sing to songs out loud when someone else is in the car. Especially Andy, who'll crack up and ask WHAT did you just say???? Maybe I need to go in for some type of speech therapy.

Maybe just the regular kind...

And can we tell I'm bored at work today?

I had another strange dream last night, that apparently was very very funny. I remember laughing. I remember there was something about a little bar of soap that could talk. I remember Andy asking "What's so funny?" But mostly I remember being completely unable to answer him. I tried to explain that there was a funny bar of soap talking to me and all that came out of my mouth was gibberish or noises. He kept asking until finally I was able to get out the sound SHHHHHHHHHH! Which both of us found very very funny.

Courtesy of In Passing

"And I say 'Stop right there Mambo-Man'."

It was just TOO funny. If you check out the comments, there's a whole string of Whose Line is it Anyway references. It does sound like a quote from a terrific sketch. Or possibly something Monty Python-esque.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquistion! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

Baby Shower Number One

Today's the day. Baby Shower Number One. Will let you all know how it went tomorrow.

Bitten by the Blogger Bug

I never really used to enjoy writing. I used to enjoy trying, but the results never quite turned out the way I expected.

I used to try and write poetry in high school and college. Some wasn't bad. One I wrote especially for the college Literary Magazine. I made it deep and dark and disturbing like the rest of the work in there. Once I was done, I read it through and it didn't sound like me, was nothing I had ever experienced in real life, and overall just felt like I had put on a mask and tried to recite some one else. That little poem got torn up and thrown away and I've never looked back.

So when I first thought about creating a Blog, I wasn't sure I would like it. Happily enough, I've been hooked, and for once I actually sound like I mean to sound when I write something down. Most of the time at least. Hope you all enjoy!

Yummm

We went out to dinner last night to celebrate and had a lovely time at a little place in Ellicott City, called Cacao Lane (Please ignore the description here, it doesn't do it justice. I just put the link in for the picture). The folks in the restaurant pronouced it "Cocoa" Lane, but that was the only flaw. The service was great, the food was terrific and the atmosphere was perfect for a romantic little dinner. We were put at the "seeder" table. At least we think that's what the guy said. It certainly wasn't "cedar." The table was right in the window so Andy thinks he meant seeder like "seeding the crowd" kind of a thing.

Well, whatever the guy meant it was a nice table. We got to look out onto Main Street of historic Ellicott City and watch the people go by. The group of kids sitting on a bench smoking. Two women desparately trying to carry an antique armoir to a car somewhere just out of sight. The dresser had been painted white, causing us to wonder who would have painted such a beautiful old piece?

Then we got a show. No, not in house. The police showed up across the street, investigating who knows what. The car lights flashing on and off gave us a lovely disco effect, which the waitress assured us she had them do just to celebrate our anniversary. But who noticed when the food was so good, and we had each other to look at.

If you're ever in the Ellicott City area I definitely recommend it as a nice restaurant to try. If you're lucky you might get the disco lights too!

Three years already!!???

It doesn't seem possible, but it's been three years already since I married the sweetest guy on earth.

Here's to many many more my love.

Attack of the 11:30 PM dreamer

Andy:*quietly opens door to come kiss me goodnight*
Me: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO COME IN HERE AT 11:30!!!
A: it seemed like a good time
M: Well, I'm asleep!
A: You were just awake a few minutes ago
M: No!
A: I can go away
M: *Starting to wake up and feel guilty* NO, I'm sorry
A: *kisses me goodnight*
M: *I fall completely dead asleep*

When I woke up the next morning I felt even worse. I don't know what sort of crazy dream I was having when he came in, but apparently it was not a good time to wake me up.

I really need to get out more

My posts have been uneventful lately, not to mention particularly uninteresting. Things are slow at work, quiet at home, and all in all...well, uneventful. Not to say my life is boring. Not in the least! But aside from the news, I just haven't experienced much lately to talk about.

This will change shortly I'm sure. I'm going to my first baby shower in 2 weeks. Well, that's not entirely true. I've been to one before, but I was 8. And I have to say I was pretty bored at the time. Now that I understand what's going on and the women at the party are more of my own age, it should be a lot more fun to attend. Plus, I got to shop for baby stuff, which is always cutesy and fun.

My folks are coming home for Thanksgiving. This should provide lots of new material. For those that don't know, my folks moved to Australia almost 2 years ago. This will be the first time I've seen them since then. I talk to my dad a lot about what they're up to, and email is truly a blessing, but nothing beats the in-person thing. They'll be home for about a month, so we're trying to cram as many things into those 4 weeks as humanly possible. Including Thanksgiving and Christmas. My grandmother's been cleaning and straightening like mad at her house, where all the festivities are to occur, and I'm taking the week before Thanksgiving off to help cook, clean, and hang Christmas ornaments. It seemed a little weird at first, but then I saw the malls already have everything out for Christmas anyway. The only truly hard part? What to get them.

Not only will they have to take back whatever we get them (on a 22 hour long plane ride), but it's also the middle of summer there. And not just summer, but middle of the outback summer. Every tried buying summer clothes in September? There aren't any. So what's lightweight, summer-y, and useful in the desert? If you know, please tell me!

So, much to look forward to in the near future. Just hang in there.

Amen brother

In his first major speech on the Iraq situation, the once and possibly future Democratic presidential candidate accused Bush of abandoning the goal of a world where nations follow laws.

"That concept would be displaced by the notion that there is no law but the discretion of the president of the United States," he said.

"If other nations assert the same right, then the rule of law will quickly be replaced by the reign of fear," and any nation that perceives itself threatened would feel justified in starting wars, he said.

Gore may not have charisma, but he would sure as hell get my vote over Bush any day (and did as a matter of fact. Actually, as I recall, he got the MAJORITY of the votes over Bush).

(Apologies to my Republican friends out there, but Bush is an idiot)

Please, please please!!!

I'm not trying to whine but could the three authors I'm currently waiting on PLEASE finish their next books?

I've been waiting for Book number three in one triology for over 5 years now, and according to Amazon it won't be out until November of next year. OH the agony!

Preggers

Congrats!

Two more friends are pregnant. Two more couples we know that is, i.e. two more babies.

That makes 10 this year.

Two more bullets for me to dodge, according to the law of 3s.

Those crazy Aussies!

Ok they dislike peanut butter in favor of Vegemite. Weird thing number one. But MUSK flavored Lifesavers????

What were they thinking??????

Odd thing

One thing I saw while I was in the Halloween store. A costume that had printed on the front "Made with REAL vinyl." Since when did that become a selling point?

Oh the Smells you can Smell

My nose has had a habit of not working on occasion. Like pretty much not since I was born. But every once in a while my head clears and presto I can smell the world again. The only problem with this is it can be quite overwhelming. Today at the mall for example.

I walked in and smelled the salon and several varieties of hairspray. I walked into a shoe store and got that wonderful scent of new leather. I walked into a clothes store and smelled that sizing crap that put on all new clothes so they'll fold nicely. I was bombarded with flower/fruit/soap smells from Bath & Body Works from the other side of the hallway. I walked into a Halloween store (yes! can you believe it? they're already open) and smelled that strange combination of thick makeup and foam rubber.

But the best part, after I was dizzy from all the sensations, was that I got to smell lunch when I ate it. Split pea soup with ham, in a sourdough bread bowl. MMMMMM.

The world should be my oyster

And should be wide open. I think we should all be able to live and work wherever we damn well please. I would move to Europe somewhere and live happily eating Belgian chocloate and riding the tube, working in an office with other interesting Europeans. I would pay the necessary taxes while I lived there, I would be a very nice person. Why does there have to be so much red tape to do these kinds of things. Is that there are actually people out there that enjoy legal work? Or is it because a couple of nuts along the lines have spoiled it for the rest of us? Why can't world travel, living and employment be open to everyone in every country across the world? Would certain countries become incredibly overrun?

What brought this on? Trying to get legal work taken care of for our newest employee. You would not believe the immense about of paper shuffling that has to happen to hire one out-of towner. Wouldn't it be nice if all we had to do was say "Come on board" regardless of where the person came from?

Famous People

I'd all but forgotten about an encounter I had a few summers back. Yes, loyal readers, my summer in Middlebury, VT.

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the author Julia Alvarez. She's written several very good books including In the Time of the Butterfles and How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accent. Until that summer in Middlebury I was completely unaware of her works, I'm sad enough to say.

Before leaving for the summer I had read all the literature I could on Middlebury, and found out that Laura Esquivel who wrote Like Water for Chocolate, my as of then favorite Hispanic author, was a recent visitor to the school and the summer program. I had read that book backwards and forwards in both English and Spanish more times than I could count. I also, unfortunately had to read it for my literature class that summer and the professor didn't like my interpretation. Which brings up a side note, how can you be graded poorly for your own interpretation of the meaning of a book?

When I got there that summer I found out that Ms. Esquivel had been there the summer before and wasn't planning to make an appearance that year. All hopes of an autograph dashed, I contented myself with my classes, and the story of a professor who had met her. Apparently she had cooked several of the recipes from that book for him, and they really weren't that good. There's a reason she's an author after all.

About 3 weeks in to my summer, I was sitting outside after classes and looking at the mountains, pretending to do coursework. As I was sitting a woman rushed by, arms full of papers. I couldn't figure out who was going somewhere in such a hurry on such a lovely afternoon. About 10 seconds later I heard a loud thump and a woman screaming and crying. I didn't rush over at first, because frankly I was a little scared of what I would find. What if she was being held by some man with a gun? After another moment of indecision, the lifeguard training kicked in and I ran over to see if I could help. The woman who had been rushing by had tripped off the curb and with her arms full of paper, fallen head first onto the road. She had a huge goose-egg on her forehead that was already starting to bruise, and was for very good reason, very upset. I told her to hold still I'd run grab some ice and call security. She clutched my arm and asked me to PLEASE not leave. She didn't want to sit there alone. So I sat with her and talked to her and tried to calm her down until she felt I could go get some ice.

Once she stopped crying, she said she just needed to get to the auditorium where her husband was and she would be ok. We got up and I held her arm and helped her walk down the sidewalk towards the Arts Center. She turned to me and said "In case I pass out, my name is Julia Alvarez." She told me her husband's name and I promised I would get her there safely. I don't know if she was insulted I didn't know who she was, or relieved that she didn't have to deal with an adoring fan just then. In any case I told her my name, and kept right on talking to her.

All of this happened in English by the way, a very clear violation of my promise to speak only Spanish for the summer. She realized this halfway down the hill and said "I don't want to get you in trouble." I told her that this was clearly an emergency and the best thing was to get her taken care of regardless of the language. She switched to Spanish anyway, but soon switched back since I kept asking her to repeat herself (she spoke fast, and I was still rather slow on the uptake).

We made it down the hill and I got her to a security guard at the auditorium, she said she'd be ok from there and waved as I left. I still had no idea of who she was at this point. When I got back to my room and mentioned to my roommate the strange thing that had happened to me, her jaw dropped open. Not the Julia Alvarez? I responded with "that was her name, yeah." She dug around and came out with a book and pointing to the cover "Was this her?" My jaw dropped open at this point. That was her alright.

The next day heading back from dinner I ran into her again, with her husband this time. She smiled, came over and gave me a huge hug and thanked me for saving her. "My Angel" she called me. Her husband hugged me and thanked me as well for getting her safely back to him. All of this in Spanish this time. I was also a bit more embarrassed, since I knew who she was now and felt guilty for not knowing before. After they left, several people I didn't know came up to me and asked how I knew her so well.

A couple of weeks later my friends presented me with a copy of In the Time of the Butterflies for my birthday, which I carried around in my bag for weeks hoping to see her again and get an autograph. No such luck, she had gone for the summer.

I keep hoping to run in to her again, at a book signing somewhere possibly, to see if she would remember her Middlebury Angel, and finally get that autograph.

I've bought all her books, poems and essays since then, based my senior project on a good portion of her writing, and read everything of hers I can get my hands on.

What brought on this nostalgia trip you ask? When I went to pick up Andy from the airport the other night, I absent-mindedly grabbed a book to read while waiting. It was one of hers, and the story jumped back into my head and made me wonder, how on earth could I have forgotten about that?

An unusual chat

For some reason our back door number doesn't always work at the office, so folks have to go through me to be transferred. The other morning I answered the phone to hear:
her: no no poopie in the background
me: hesitantly I think you might have the wrong number
her: OH! I didn't hear you answer
me: Recognizing her as the wife of a co-worker Hi how are you?
her: You just heard me talking about poopies didn't you?

We both had a good laugh and I assured her it was no problem, and she wasn't interrupting my day when her calls came through me, and that the poopie talk didn't bother me a bit.

We'll have a little more to chat about at the next company picnic I think.

Let's play with our food

Vegetables as instruments.

This seemed to fit perfectly for today

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
-George Bernard Shaw


Thanks to Newton's Kumquat for the quote

How old are you?

Sometimes I like messing with people's minds. Having them try and figure out just how old I am.

Last night for example. I'd left the gym and headed over to Blockbuster. As I was walking out of the store this woman read my shirt (I had on a SMC Swimming shirt)
and said "RMSC, both my kids swam there!"

The following conversation occurred:

Me: No SMC
Her: What's that?
Me: St. Mary's College...
Her: Oh, then you MUST know Jenny Cheng
Me: Noooo...
Her: *A look like I'm lying* You must know her IF you swim (notice present tense) there. She just graduated in May.
Me: Oh I graduated 5 years ago, this is an old shirt (ok I lied to her, but 4 is close enough to 5 and it just sounded better to have it be a nice round number)
Her: OH! *Another look like I'm lying*

End of conversation. I'd never heard the name before and it's also entirely possible this woman was thinking of Mount St. Mary's College in Western Maryland. We get this a lot. We also get a lot of "OH that's a Catholic school right?" Right. Because a school in St. Mary's City, on the St. Mary's River, in St. Mary's County couldn't POSSIBLY be named St. Mary's College of Maryland without being Catholic. My favorite comeback to this was by a friend who was completely wasted at the time, lying on the floor and slurring "Does this look like proper Catholic school behavior?"

But the best part of the whole thing was her looking like I couldn't possibly have graduated from college that long ago. Sometimes I get a huge kick out of that. Like when I won a bear at King's Dominion at one of those guess your age stands. They have to come within 2 years either way. He guessed 16. I was 21 at the time.

It used to really bug me when I was younger. My grandmother liked to play this game when we were at the grocery store. She'd talk to the clerk and say "How old do you think she is?" They were always wrong, on the young side of course.

Or the woman I ran into at a Young Life banquet this spring. Who stopped me in the restroom and wanted to know what I thought of the Young Life program at my highschool. I (kindly) explained that I'd been out of highschool for quite some time and I was there to make a donation, not as a participant of the program.

I had to stop typing in the middle of this because I had urgent stuff come up at work and I've completely forgot where I was going with the thread.

Oh well.

Pure Democratic opinion to follow...

Like father like daughter like niece apparently. Ok sure Clinton was a womanizer, sure he smoked a little pot. But he didn't (blantantly) buy his way into the White House. He didn't use crack when he was younger and fry his brain to a little crisp. He never said "strategery", even though he tried desperately define "is." He didn't drive the economy down the crapper (ok that's pure opinion, I know we would have a decline anyway). And he didn't do everything his daddy did. i.e. "Let's make war with Iraq because it worked so well before"

One thing I sincerely hope 'W' does just like his father. Have only one term in the White House.

Opinion session has now ended, thank you for your time.

Another

Mr. Enoch Stiffl

My first thought...Carousel and Carrie singing about her true love Mr. Enoch Snow. Who is a fisherman. Of herring.

How Unfortunate

Once again I'm working on cleaning up my company's database and stumbled across a name.

Mr. Dick Willy.

Do parents not think about these things when they name their children?

Favs from the UK

Elasto-plast = Bandaid
Lorry = Truck
Plastic cheesy quavers = Packing peanuts
Lift = Elevator
Well chuffed = pretty darn happy

Where do they come from?

Is there a set of farms out there especially breeding bland, flavorless, cardboard-esque tomatoes? And why is that's the only kind fast food places buy?

Strange Things

Ok for those that thought Homestar Runner was odd, check out Weebl, his friend Bob and their unwholesome obsession with pie.

Interplanet Janet she's a galaxy girl

I GOT IT!!!! I GOT IT!!!!

Too many hats

Working in a small office has it's perks, being needed is one. Being needed too much for too many types of things on the other hand...

Only I didn't say fudge

How close have you ever come to cursing in front of your parents? How about grandparents? Have you ever gotten halfway through the word, realized what was coming out of your mouth and tried to change mid-stream?

I came real close this weekend. I was driving with my grandmother and sister in the car and other people were not letting me off of the ramp onto the highway. One word started coming out until I realized it was not an "appropriate" word and it got changed into another.

I'm not sure what would've happened actually. Aside from shock and dismay that the sweet little child in a frilly dress that I used be just uttered THAT word. It's not like she could've grounded me or anything. I wonder why it is we feel the need to restrain ourselves in front of our folks that way. Surely they've heard the words many more times than we have. Maybe it's consideration for the fact that they held themselves in for us, when we were too young to hear those types of things.

Anyway, thanks for saying sugar, shoot, phooey, fudge, darn, and dang. I know what you really meant now.

Mr. Morton walked down the street

Mr. Morton walked. Mr. Morton talked to his cat. Mr. Morton talked. Mr. Morton was very lonely. Mr. Morton was. Mr. Morton is the subject of the sentence and what the predicate says he does.

Ok I don't own it yet, but my sister picked it up last week. And we spent a fun-filled Friday evening full of nostalgia. Singing along to almost every single song, gasping when those we barely remembered came on "I'd forgotten this one!" Gasping when those came on that we saw quite frequently and had all but forgotten about, and then wondering how we could have forgotten that one, they showed it so often!

We also amazed my grandmother by how much of the songs we remembered. It also amazed her to realize that tucked into the sugar cereal induced coma-like state of Saturday morning cartoon watching, there was actually educational stuff going on. "That's probably why you all are so smart!" Well it didn't hurt us any that's for sure.

For those of you who don't remember what life was like pre-cable, there didn't used to be a 24 hour Cartoon Network. I'm not knocking it, I love the Powerpuff Girls, and Ed, Edd, & Eddy as much as the next guy. But Saturday mornings used to be complete kid time. I'd be up at 6 AM and the TV would be on. On low of course as not to wake the 'rents, chowing down on my Cookie Crisp (and yes I remember back when the box had just the cartoon thief and cop, before there was the silly dog howling COOOOOKIE Crisp). And the cartoons went on and on. Until about 1 PM I think. That's when The Littles came on and after that it was back to real tv. There were also plenty of kids shows with real kids. Not nearly as good as the cartoons, but hey it was all tv right? Like Kids Incorporated, where you can watch a very young Jennifer Love Hewitt strut her stuff.

But Schoolhouse Rock was tucked in between all the other cool things going on. As a filler of sorts, and it's amazing how much of that stuff sticks. There's a wholeCD if you haven't seen it before, of bands doing theme songs from their favorite Saturday morning hits. Conjunction Junction is in there too. I'm not the only one it stuck with. Of course my favorite was always "Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here."

I also can't tell you how much I'd wished some other kids had watched Schoolhouse Rock when they were growing up. I've always liked language, so Grammar Rock was always my favorite, and when I took German as my secondary language for my Foreign Language degree, it amazed me how little other people knew about how common English grammar worked. German is so similar to English in structure, if they had just learned that adjectives describe things, and adverbs modify verbs etc etc, they may not have needed that tutor, or whined quite so much about how hard German was. It amazed me they could even form English sentences.

Of course I'm not exempt from language mistakes. Like the summer I spent in Middlebury, I made tons in Spanish. The subjunctive is enough to drive a non-native speaker insane. But when Andy came up to visit, I think I suffered some severe brain damage. I'd been speaking nothing but Spanish for 5 weeks, then having to switch to English threw me for a bit of a loop, but when he switched into German on me I literally froze. I couldn't move, speak, or barely breathe. My brain all but collapsed, trying to wrap around what language I was supposed to be understanding at the moment. He of course thought that was the funniest thing ever in the universe. It is now, but I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling of complete paralysis.

Next time on Laura's nostalgia page "I hanker for a hunk of cheese!"

Ever wonder why...

Why is it that when you have a sore in your mouth, you just can't leave it alone? For example, I accidently bit my lip last night, so there's a sore spot just inside my mouth. I've been continually running my tongue over it, and feeling it. And it hurts! When I have a bruise somewhere I don't keep pressing it to see if it hurts, so what's different about my mouth?

It's like going to the dentist, and they put that suction thingy in your mouth, what's the first thing you do? Feel it with your tongue and ZHOOP it sticks to the suction tube. I think tongues simply have a mind of their own. And they aren't very bright.

Hmmmm

Not much unusual going on today. The dog is healthy. The rain is dripping on and off. The boss is out. I've actually been going to the gym.

Nothing really exciting. Although that's good. Last time I said nothing exciting was happening my purse walked off with someone else.

Let's stick with boring for a while shall we?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEAVEN HELP US ALL!!! It is truly the apocolypse! Kirstie Alley is going to have her own talk show. Isn't it bad enough she's ruined two sitcoms and killed any desire I've ever had to shop at Pier 1? Why must she continually be shoved under the public's nose?

I for one will not be watching.

Arrow

This is what my dog looks like. But he's not nearly as well trained as this one I bet.

It's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring. He went to bed and hit his head and couldn't get up until morning.

It's actually lovely out. It's cooled off and isn't so muggy. And since this is the first time it's rained since...well all summer really, it's a nice change.

I spoke WAY too soon

Ok 5lbs of Silly Putty

That's just too cool.

One of these days...

I promise I'll grow up eventually, but in the meantime how cool is this!!!???

I want to make my own crayons!

Blecch

I like lip balm. I like using it. I like what I've got right now, except it's a bit on the medicinal side, and it smells like the beach. I'm also chewing some gum, and the combination is like I've got some chewy mint suntan lotion in my mouth.

I'm so torn

Living close to PA like we do, I've grown up with Hershey's. Going up to the park, when about the coolest things they had were the chocolate factory tour and the ferris wheel. I just read that several companies are making a bid for Hershey's, one of the more agressive being Nestle.

On the one hand I hate to see a family company get bought out by a giant, although I suppose that's the way of American business. On the other, if Nestle becomes local, does that mean I can actually find an Aero bar within the US?

I am not the only one!

Ok I am not the only one that thinks of the Simpsons at strange times, following is a direct quote from a Hoovers company capsule:

"It gets hot enough in India to melt your slushee, but India's largest power company, the state-run National Thermal Power Corporation (NTPC), has 20 coal and gas-fired power plants that can run quite a few air conditioners."

I think this says it all

Aside from the poor spelling, this I think says it all.

Truly, where else can you get 4 beers for $35?

Two ~16 year old girls overheard at the mall

Girl 1: How can anyone not wear hiphuggers? They're like the most comfortable jeans ever.
Girl 2: Yeah, I like 'em, but I can't wear any underwear with mine, because they sit so low.
Girl 1: Oh no! Victoria's Secret has a new low rise thong made just for wearing with hiphuggers. That's what I do.
Girl 2: Really? I'll have to go get some.


Sorry, almost a week later and that conversation still makes me gag. I realize I was 16 and stupid once, but I'm so glad I'm not any more.

Would it have killed you to be nice?

I went to the law firm downstairs to see if I could use one of their notaries. The receptionist didn't know, since she was temping for the day, so she went back to ask. A woman came out a said "What made you come HERE for a notary?" Well, I work upstairs and I assumed as a law firm you would have a Notary Public. "But it's nothing associated with the firm?" Noooo... "Well the one I asked won't do it, but let me ask the other...huff huff huff" I felt like calling after her that I could just go downstairs to the bank if it's SUCH a bother. But presently another woman came out and stamped my little paper and didn't charge me for it.

Why are people rude for no reason? That first woman could have come out and said, unless this a case related with our firm, we do not offer Notary services, and I would have said thank you and gone downstairs to the bank.

Sometimes I hate people. Except for the nice woman who didn't charge me the $8 bucks to sign my paper.

I'm so remiss!

Things have been very hectic at work lately so I haven't had much time to blog. Blog at home I hear you say??? Ehhh, just doesn't feel the same.

Updates:
The dog is fine, on antibiotics and getting better from his latest bout with some sort of skin infection. $600 on the dog all within 7 days. Bye bye new dishwasher.

I took a lovely day off on Friday, and spent it cleaning the house. Ok, I know I'm a bit of a freak, but it was incredibly enjoyable for me. I got to clean everything from top to bottom, steam my carpets, fold and iron all the laundry....ok not exciting for the majority of the world, but you're reading about the girl who shrieked with happiness when she got a new vacuum cleaner last Christmas. Maybe I've missed my calling as an Office Manager, maybe I should start my own house cleaning service instead.

Anyway, it was relaxing to me, and incredibly satisfying to walk/sit anywhere on any floor in the house, and not feel a crunch, crackle, or squish underneath of me. We'll see how long it stays that way.

Sign for the Outta the Way Cafe

Delicious food, Seafood, Steak, Lobster

When did lobster cease to be a seafood? Did I miss that day?

Conjunction Junction What's your function?

The special 30th anniversary DVD of SchoolHouse Rock featuring all the songs ever created and a previously unreleased "Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips"!!!!!!!!!!!

It will be mine...oh yes...it will be mine

Do people actually talk that way?

I actually used the word "clout" in a sentence today. As soon as it came out of my mouth I felt like such a dork. Who else actually uses the words they learned for the SATs in everyday life?

I'm sorry but this was just too much for me.

Don't worry folks he's ok

For all my concerned friends...Arrow's fine. He finally got rid of the other sock that was the demon behind the puking spree. He's also going to be on medicine for the next two weeks. He also cost me $404.83 at the vet yesterday. Just for them to tell me he'd eaten a sock. But the joys of owning a pet far outweigh the cost right?

This morning he experimented with a roll of toilet paper.

A link to the Simpsons

I've just discovered that St. Swithin's Day falls on my birthday. Don't know what I'm talking about? See my post of May 15th "Great Literary Works of the Simpsons"

No...NO! DONT PUKE AGAIN!!!

It's been a fun morning. Our dog, eater of all things non-food had ingested some mysterious thing. This has caused a 6 hour vomiting spree. I awoke at 3:30 this morning to that dreaded heaving sound, only to fly out of bed while another pile was being made. Goody. My favorite thing to do. Clean dog puke. At an ungodly hour of the morning.

Just as I had gotten everything cleaned out of the carpet and settled back down to sleep...*HEAVE*. I jumped out of bed cursing, this time waking Andy up. The mess was cleaned and he suggested putting down our camping tarp on the carpet to prevent further accidents. We also opened up the bathroom door for quick rescues if we could catch them in time.

Just drifting off to sleep when Arrow jumps off the bed and starts smacking his lips...I leap with amazing speed and usher him into the bathroom. Just in time! Clean up on tile is much easier.

All went well after that...sort of. Everything went normally until I was in the shower and I heard a noise. PLEASE don't let that be what I think it was...then the smell hits me, yes even in the shower. He had sort of puked half on the carpet, half on the tiles.

That mess got cleaned up and I got Arrow settled back in bed with Andy. Said goodbye and mentioned to Andy that the dog was still puking some, so be wary. As I'm drying my hair..."HELP!"

You got it, more puke. Time for the vet.

We don't know yet what's in there...hopefully just the mate to the sock that was puked up yesterday morning.

PHEW

Finally got all the vacation details filled in. Hopefully I'll have things to blog about recent happenings soon.

Why can't my job work that way?

Overheard in the elevator at my office

Girl 1: What time do you have to be back?
Girl 2: Well...I told them I was taking my mom to get her car. *Laughs*
Girl 1 and 3: Laughing
Girl2: If I'm late I'm late. I don't care.
Girl 1: Yeah...
Girl 2: That's what I love about being Salary instead of Hourly. I can work whatever and get paid the same amount every time.
All 3 girls: Laughing

Can anyone else guess how long she'll keep her job?

The Vacation - Day 8

Going Home

Hurrah! Going home! Not that I was happy to end my vacation, but I was definitely ready to get back to where I understood the weather and how to cope with it. We packed the last of everything up and headed towards checkout. While I sat in the lobby while Andy got the car a group of college guys staggered down the hallway towards the front door. When they hit the bright sunlight everyone of them groaned, giggled, and then wobbled out the door. They were obviously still drunk from whenever their partying stopped. Since it was only about 7 AM I'm guessing they hadn't stopped much earlier. They came back in about 10 minutes so I'm not sure where they had to go. Maybe to the grocery store across the way for more booze. Or some hangover remedy.

Is anyone else queasy?

Not much happened dropping off the car, getting onto the plane, getting into the air.

Coming down in Chicago was a different story. There was turbulence. Quite a bit. There were thunderstorms around Chicago making every thing a little bumpy. Flying out wasn't a picnic either. As the stewardess was bringing the drink cart through I overheard her talking to someone else..."Oh this isn't bad. We were on a really bad flight the other day. We hit a big bump and I screamed." That didn't really inspire my confidence. If turbulence made this woman scream, what would happen if something worse went down??

Ahhhh good old MD humidity

We landed back in good old MD. Yes, it's sticky. Yes, the air quality is about the worst in the nation. But I haven't found anywhere else in the country that I would rather live. Of course I've only seen a small portion of the rest of the country...but nothing compares to home.

In my own bed

Back home, with my own dog, my own kitchen, my own everything. Especially my own bed. It's amazing how used you get to your own pillows lumps and your own mattress's divets.

Vacation was lovely, but it's good to be back.

The Vacation - Day 7

Lounging by the pool

The next morning I was determined to soak up a little sun and not be so fish-belly white. So at about 9:30 I headed out to the main pool at the Flamingo thinking I would have plenty of time to find a good spot and set up camp before the good rays started coming through. Was I ever wrong. The pool was already jam-packed. What chairs weren't already filled were covered by towels and water bottles waiting to be filled. Wow, and I thought I was getting a head start. These people take their tanning seriously.

Eventually I gave up and went back to our little pool on the Hilton side of things. It was still completely in the shade, but at least there were a few chairs left. I grabbed one, positioned for where the sun should hit first when it makes it over the edge of the hotel and start reading away. I got my sun, I got to read, and was happy.

Does anyone else feel queasy?

After I came back in we headed out to get some food. Over to the Flamingo's diner type restaurant. MMMMM greasy. But so tasty. And calories don't count on vacation. I'm hoping lots and lots of them didn't. Finishing up we started looking through the coupon book to see what else we could do for a discount on our last day here. Well...there's a discount on Second City here at the Flamingo that sounds good. OOH and a buy on get one free deal on that IMAX ride at Caesar's! Let's go!

Off to Caesar's we went. And eventually puttered our way to where the ride was, taking care to avoid that information booth in case that woman recognized we got a good deal on a meal with out seeing their timeshare.

We bought our tickets, went through the staircases, ropes etc. and wound up waiting at a door for the next ride to start. Finally we were let in and given these bizarre 3D goggle things. Which everyone in line immediately threw on and started messing with. Next came our "guide" who promptly told us all to take them off. We adjusted them properly and then put them back on for the intro video. And in we went. Sat down in a giant "car", you know the kind where the seats move, but nothing else does? Put on our goggles and we were off.

The thing was incredibly neat, but NOT the best thing to do after a large greasy meal. I felt ill for a good 2 hours afterwards. OOF.

Lions in Vegas?

After Caesar's we drove around and parked at MGM planning to walk through to GameWorks. A Spielberg produced fun thing. When we got there it was a minature version of Dave and Busters. Not thrilling, not original, and not really any good games to play either. We decided to walk over to New York and see what was up there. Nothing very different from the other casinos. Back across the street to MGM.

On the way back through the casino Andy said "Lion habitat? What's that? I bet there's lions in there." I responded with "No, not real lions in the middle of the casino."

I should've known better. After all our hotel had penguins right? There they were in a big glass encased setting, two beautiful sleepy lions gnawing on a giant rubber ball. There were two trainers in there with them, trying to keep them awake and playing to the delight of the crowd.

I don't know how long we stayed, but I could've stayed all day. They were amazing to watch. So playful. So cuddly. So BIG. And you could tell they were both young since they had some of the baby spots left on their stomachs. One funny thing though...they had two balls to play with. A red on and a blue one. Neither cat wanted to play with the blue ball at all. So they "fought" continuously over the red one. It was hysterical to watch.

Second City

After resting and some dinner we walked over to see Second City. Great comedy/improv group. Much fun to watch. Also fun to watch...the people in the crowd. As the waitress was coming around with one table's drinks she tripped on an outstretched foot and down came everything. 4 out of the 5 people at the table were splashed. They all took it well though and I overheard her say "they'll have to send a porter out to clean this up." I also noticed she came back in 20 minutes and had to wipe it up herself with a towel. Not a job I would want.

The comedy was great, very witty. The improv was as always my favorite part.

Walking back after the show we encountered some of the hotel's wildlife. The Flamingo also had these strange black chicken-type birds. This one was walking around and around in the grass. We stood there and watched him long enough until eventually he started circling around and around us. We tried slowly manuevering him back towards the rest of the animals but he was incredibly slow and we were getting tired. We did entertain quite a few other people though. We finally gave up after a while and left him circling aimlessly around the path.

I think it was like a goldfish. Once they get to one side of the bowl they've forgotten where they've been. And continue to circle. And circle. And circle...

The Vacation - Day 6

Epcot? With Gambling?

The next morning we got up and went in search of breakfast. Well I wanted lunch since it was about 11:30. We compromised and went to the buffet at the Flamingo. Before we all split up at the grand Canyon, Andy's grandmother gave us her coupon book that she had gotten at her hotel. It was filled with all sorts of gooides including a $1 off the buffet price for two people. So I got lunch food and Andy got his breakfast and we got a discount overall. On our way to breakfast we had stopped to look at the penguins. Yes penguins. And of course flamingos as well. Actually the sign said it gets too cold in Las Vegas in the winter for the African penguins so their rocks are temperature controlled (i.e. heated).

After breakfast we headed out to explore. Las Vegas is a lot like Epcot Center at Disneyworld. Everything has a theme and you can pick which one you spend your time at. While we were out we hit the Venetian, designed to look like Venice. We'd seen the Learning Channel special on it so we had to check it out. It did look a lot like Venice, but the water in the hotel was definitely prettier than the real thing.

Everything Mama said not to

The other thing about Vegas is that it is the epitome of everything your mother has told you not to do. Gambling, smoking, alcohol is available 24 hours a day, as is breakfast with all those fatty foods. Loose women everywhere. Maybe that's what makes it so fun. It's like sneaking a cookie when your parent's back is turned. A guilty little pleasure. But I don't know how you could live there all the time. How would you ever know what's real?

The pedicure

Included in the fabulous coupon book was a free parafin treatment with the purchase of a manicure or pedicure at Bally's. A pedicure! Just what my porr trail-aching feet wanted. So we hopped on over to Bally's and hunted down the salon. I asked if they could do a pedicure and the girl looked at me and said "Today?" No next week. Yes today. They could put me in at 3:30. Great! Time to go buy tickets for the Blue Man Group at the Luxor and then swing back by and get my piggies done. Hmmmm but it's 2:45 now and the Luxor's at the other end of the strip. The Flamingo is just across the street from Bally's let's go back to the hotel and I'll walk back over.

By the time we got back to the car, driven it to the Flamingo's garage, found a parking space...it was time for me to walk back over. I went out through the casino onto the sidewalk and took this fun little people mover dealy over the street to Bally's. Then hopped on another people mover to get into the casino. Did I mention this place was like Epcot? The time to find my way back through the casino (everything's through the casinos btw) down to the shops and back to the spa. I was early. I didn't have a watch and told them I didn't want to miss my appointment. There was no rush I just didn't want to not get my pedicure. The same chick who asked me "today?" didn't remember me from 20 minutes erlier and didn't look thrilled about my sitting in her salon for 20 minutes. OK OK I'll go play some slots.

I found a Betty Boop slot machine. Oh yes, there were all kinds. A popeye, a tabasco sauce, a family feud, and even Austin Powers versions of slot machines. After losing a buck or so I headed back. I still had 10 minutes, but the crazy lady was on break and the new nice woman let me sit in the chair there. After a few minutes the mancurist came out and led me to a lovely comfortable chair with a hot bubbling foot bath. AHHHHH bliss. For the next hour I had some one pampering, massaging, and painting my feet. It was worth every penny, including the money lost to slot machines while waiting.

Blue Man Group

After I walked back on much lighter feet, we called to see about getting tickets to Blue Man at the Luxor. 7:30 or 10 show. I can do 10, and then we can eat dinner. So we got cleaned up, changed and drove over to the Luxor.

Another cool thing about Vegas is you can wear whatever you want. Even walking through the shops in the middle of the day there were people in elaborate evening wear, and people wearing what looked like old pajamas. We saw a couple of workers leaving for the day half in costume, half in a ratty t-shirt. At first I thought this girl was wearing the most bizarre pants ever until I saw her shirt that said Luxor Staff and realized her pants were purple belly-dancer pants. She probably just threw a shirt on over top of her well... top and was on her way home.

The Luxor is a cool place. It's theme is Egypt, including a giant sphinx outside of the black glass pyramid building. Inside the tiers and tiers stretching to the top were the hotel rooms, and the inside was hollow, filled up with casino. Once we'd picked up our tickets we looked for food. Papyrus! It's an asian restaurant, let's eat there! Since we didn't get to eat Chinese food the other night.

We wandered around the casino looking for the restaurant. Why do they hide the restaurants? Do they not want people to eat? Finally we found it. YUMMMMM.

After dinner we wandered back down to the theatre as the first show was letting out. One girl had a piece of paper covered in blue kiss marks and a blue fingerprint on her left shoulder. Hmmm I guess they liked her. Then we noticed the wads of toilet paper. In the hallways and everywhere. This was going to be a fun show. We got to actual theatre lobby and looked at people drinking these huge blue drinks. The were those giant beer glass things, but blue. One of those might be good. But what's in them? And were they a ripoff? I went over to the bar and asked. Anything fluffy, like a daiquiri or margarita. And they were $12.50. NO WAY was I paying that much for a daiquiri that when put in a real cup was probably about the size of a regular coke.

On with the show. We were let into the theatre and had pretty good seats. About halfway in. Looking around before the show got started I noticed a few things. Like the hundreds of rolls of paper at the back of the theatrem and the long white tubes hooked up to the ceiling. What on earth where those for? Also on stage there were two groups of statues, holding hands, circling tubes of water. Bizarre. And the weird part was they looked like they were in pain, crouching, drooping....

Then the show got started. There were marquees at the front on stage that were flashing messages liek Don't take pictures, no smoking etc. Then the lights dimmed and the marquees started saying things like Please recite the no picture taking oath and then lead us through the oath that we were supposed to read out loud. The it moved into funnier things like John Doe's birthday is today, let's all wish him happy birthday. Ready Go. And it went on like that until finally the guys came out on stage.

The Blue Man Group is incredibly unique. It's a bizarre mixture of music and Sesame Street like acting. Anytime the guys would interact with objects, they would act like it was the first time they had ever seen that thing before. Like the muppets. For example at one point they each had a box of Capn Crunch. And were amazed by the crunchiness. One of the guys poured the box over his head so it stuck in his make-up. A blue head covered in little yellow pellets. The they started cunching in time until it became a beat and then into music. Bizarre and amazing at the same time. Who thinks of that?

Then we come back to figures in pain. They turned on a strobe light and started spinning the statues, fast enough until it tricked your eyes into looking like each figure was standing in place dancing. Really really cool. There was some audience participation, and it's amazing how quickly someone will follow any lead given to them if they have no verbal clues. The woman started following everything they did without and instructions of any kind. Simply out of shear nervousness I think. When in Rome....

Oh and the toilet paper, since I've mentioned it and the tubes. At the end of the show they truned on a blacklight and let the tubes down and spun them around. It was mesmorizing to watch. Then the blue guys came back through the audience, grabbed the paper and starting pulling. The paper being white was also glowing. Soon the entire audience was swimming in a giant sea of paper.

An amazing show. Definitely worth seeing if you have a chance.

The Vacation - Day 5

Driving back to Vegas
After having as much fun in the Grand Canyon as possible in 4 days, we set out back to Vegas. Stopping here and there for gas and munchies. It seemed a lot shorter, maybe because this time I dozed off in the middle. And we definitely didn't go back through that neighborhood.

We went back over Hoover Dam and it was just as impressive the second time. We didn't stop and get because we'd really seen all we wanted to see and there were SO many tourists and SO little parking.

Luxury!

After we got back into Vegas, came the question of how to find our hotel. We knew it was on the strip. We passed a sign for Flamingo Avenue. I joked to Andy that maybe that was it. Finally we saw signs for downtown. Here we go. The strip! It wasn't dark yet so I didn't get the full effect until later. But it was fun just the same. So many different hotels and casinos. Finally we saw the Flamingo. On...you got it...Flamingo Avenue. Ah well next time in Vegas we'll know. Now to find the Hilton part of the Flamingo...AHA! There it is. We checked in and went up to our room. Gorgeous...but non-smoking? The whole room reeked. I hate to fuss about things especially since they just upgraded us to a nicer suite....but I couldn't breathe. Andy called down to the desk. There was one available on the ground floor. Fine by me as long as it didn't smell.

First floor room....incredible. We had a suite with a full kitchen. Yup a stove, full size refrigerator, microwave...everything. Huge bed and a hot tub...IN the bedroom. Man did we ever do this the right way 'round. Hard painful hiking then full class luxury.

Being nice to people

After getting settled in to the room we went and checked out the pool. Nice not too many people. Comfy. Next time to explore. We got cleaned up and went over to Caesar's Palace to check things out. There was a chinese place there that sounded good. We went off in search of it. The inside of the place was amazing. The ceiling was painted like the sky and there were no windows and no clocks. You would have no idea what time of day it was or anything. Which is of course what they want. We wandered from one end of the stores to the other searching for the elusive restaurant. Stopping along the way to buy Andy some new shoes and check out the signs for the IMAX ride.

As we passed the information booth a woman stopped us. "Are you going to be here tomorrow?" Yes...."Come see our timeshare blah blah blah" I tuned out entirely and looked bored out of my skull I'm sure, Andy continued talking to her, being extremely polite. Then...Lie #1 "well we're booked up tomorrow" Lie #2 "we're flying out the day after that" "Do you have a brochure or anything we could take with us? No brochures but she did give him a VIP card to Planet Hollywood and thanked him for his time.

We continued in search of the elusive restaurant and after realizing we were at the wrong end of the casino we found it! Only to discover it was closed Wednesday nights. So back we went to Planet Hollywood to use our VIP card and get our free appetizer. We get to Planet Hollywood and there's about a 20 minute wait. We showed them the VIP card and BOOM we were in and seated! 5 minutes later we were sipping daiquiris and munching on our free chicken strips. It's good to be nice to people. I'll have try it next time.

City Lights

Back out onto the strip, now after dark. All the lights were twinkling and flashing. Even the McDonald's signs were neon and sparkly. Then we noticed these little buggies. Well to be honest I noticed the girl that was driving one was wearing these flipflops with enormous soles. Then I noticed the little dune buggy. You could rent them apparently to drive up and down the strip. And that was about it. You couldn't do anything else with them. You couldn't park them on the street and run in anywhere, because all the parking was in garages on sidestreets. But the funny things was, these girls that were driving the thing were all dolled up, obviously tourists, driving around a little buggy with a huge sticker on it that said "Rent me." In Vegas I wonder how many times people thought the girls were for rent and not the car?

The Vacation - Day 4

How Dry I Am

When I woke up the next morning I ached from head to toe. I was also exceedingly dry. As Andy described it it's like someone snuck into our room while we were sleeping and jammed triscuits up his nose.

The original plan had been to drive out to Sedona and the night before I swore I would stay in bed all day. But after getting up moving around and another long shower I felt better. Neither one of us was sleepy so we met up with folks and headed to breakfast. During breakfast we decided to go with the boys to Sedona and Oak canyon. And here's comes the part when I felt OLD. The waitress came around to take orders and being the only girl there at the moment she turned to me and said "Ok mom what'll you have?" I stared at her as if she had grown a second head and eventually ordered. She looked at me and said "You're not mom are you?" I said NO. She looked around the table again and said "So what are you?" I pointed around the table and said daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, sister-in-law, wife. Why she assumed I was old enough to have a 27 year old son I'm not sure. Maybe it's time for a face lift.

Oak Canyon

After breakfast we piled in the car and headed off toward Oak canyon and someplace I can't remember that was supposed to have a natural water slide. When we got to the place with the water slide, we discovered that due to lack of rain it was closed. After all no sense in sliding on dry rocks. So on we went to Oak Canyon. It was like the Grand Canyon only smaller. And covered in trees. Somehow it was less impressive that way. You couldn't really see the bottom since there were trees and you couldn't see the striations in the rocks. It was still cool, but after having seen the big cool thing, the smaller cool thing just couldn't compare. But we saw a cool squirrel. I haven't mentioned the squirrels here yet. At the Grand Canyon there are these huge ground squirrels. Think groundhog but slightly smaller. Tame as any other squirrels anywhere else there's a tourist attraction. They'll come right up to you. And if you make a noise they think you have food. The squirrel at Oak Canyon was different. It had sharp pointy ears. Like those old paintings of squirrels. He was really cute, and rather striking, and not nearly as tame.

After having been in the car for a while I started stiffening up. New muscles were hurting that didn't hurt at all before. Oof! When did I get so old?

Sedona - Land of crystals and new age thinking

Oh MAN Pom-pom. That's weiwd. The town itself was a lovely place. Nice little shopping nooks nestled here and there. The town is only about 20 years old, so every thing still looked new. The weird part was the "art." A lot of it took real skill, and I know I couldn't have made any of it without a lot of practice. But none of the artists had anything to say. It was art for arts sake. Mall art. Middle-school art class art.

For example the very white looking indian girl lying in the river. Pretty at first glance but as you studied it you noticed how much of it was out of proportion. Her biceps were smaller than her forearms. She had no ribcage. She went straight from stomach to boobs. And her hands were obviously direct drawings of the artist's hands. Manly, large, and distinctly not in keeping with the rest of her. Definitely not worth the $4000. It was all like that. The artist obviously had great skill in drawing. But ...

Drive Thru Potty Break

On our way back we enjoyed a lightning show in the darkness. It was really amazing to watch with no trees or houses to block your view. I dozed off for a little while and when I woke up we were in the drive thru at McDonald's. I really really had to pee, but we were only about 15 minutes away from the hotel....Nah I couldn't wait. So I jumped out the side door and told 'em I'd meet them at the other end. As I sprinted across the parking lot, I suddenly remembered all those muscles. OOOF. I must've been more asleep than I thought. Quick trip in and back out and they were still waiting to get up to the window. As I hopped back into the car a woman in the car behind us got out. Maybe she had to pee too.

Head Hammock

It's amazing the things you do when you're a kid that you forget about isn't it? For instance, it's been a while since I've ridden in the back seat for any length of time. On the drive back to the hotel I rediscovered a talent. If you take the shoulder strap and put it behind your back you can rest your head on the length of material that's still hanging between the car side and the part that's pinned behind your back. It makes a lovely little head hammock to sleep in. Until your neck does that jello thing and you bob out of it. But for the most part it works. I think the last time I did that I was 10.