Thursday, January 30, 2003

Sounds good to me

You're never too fat to buy a new purse.
-Nia Vardalos

Tuesday, January 28, 2003


Too funny.

Clever marketing always amuses me.

Monday, January 27, 2003


So, our favorite store had a warehouse sale this weekend. We went last year, but not until Sunday afternoon and it was like a ghost town when we got there. This year we went on Saturday to see what we could see. We needed a new end table for the living room, but when we got there the only wooden furniture left looked like it had been worked over by a mafia goon. Looking around, we wandered to where the sofas and chairs were, and started sitting around in the chair and a half chairs.

Well I really like them, but the fabric is kinda thin, will it wear out fast? We don't really need one, but it would finish out the basement. What do you think? What do you think? Ok let's get one.

Now the fun began. Which chairs of the 8 that were there were wobbly, not wobbly, marked up, clean, more worn out than others, chocolate or beige fabric... We found a winner. Let's tip it up to make sure the bottom doesn't have a hole. BLOOMP. Two of the feet fell off. We had this problem with our old couch. I set the couch down without having one of the feet screwed all the way in and it pushed in the sleeve. It's fixable, but I didn't want to buy a chair, regardless of how much off it was, that we had to fix.

So let's look at the others some more. This one's good, doesn't wobble, the feet stay on, no marks , scuffs or holes. I sit in it. Andy asks, did you like the back cushion on the other better? Well yes. Go swap it. I race across the room. Did you like the other seat cushion better? Well yeah...Go swap it.

After we got it put together we wound up with a lovely chair.

Now the fun part. The loading dock is about an hour behind, so we could sit around and wait, or we could haul the chair off ourselves. Off we hauled. From one end of the warehouse to the other. Slowly, because I'm a weakling. Once we got close to the ramp, we set the chair down and I sat in it, while Andy went to get the car.

As I was sitting waiting a woman came up and starting looking the chair over, ignoring me completely. Then she got to the big sign on it that said PAID, and mumbled to herself "Oh! Someone's already got that one."

It always amazes me, how weird people are.

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Trying to be a Pilate hottie

In class this morning:
Instructor: Ok we're going do shoulder bridges now. Lay on your back.
Me: *laying*
I: Slowly tilt your hips upward so you're balancing on your shoulders
M: *balancing wobbily*
I: Now hold it
M: *holding*
I: Now lift your right leg up off the floor and hold it straight out at knee height
M: *straining but managing to balance*
I: Now kick that leg up in the air on my counts 1 and 2 and 3 and 4
M: *um ok*
I: Now lower your leg and bend at the knee, but don't let your foot touch the floor. Counting down 10-9-8-7-6....
Woman across the aerobics room: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen sister

Friday, January 24, 2003

It's official

It's colder than ass here.

Thursday, January 23, 2003


I just don't get it.
Apparently my inner European is:

What's your Inner European?

brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, January 22, 2003


Are bathrooms a good 15 degrees colder than anywhere else in a building?

Tuesday, January 21, 2003


Maybe I'm not quite ready to join my folks in Australia. Not if this and this are everyday problems at work.

Thursday, January 16, 2003

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man

I never heard the word "embiggen" until I moved to Springfield.
Why not? It's a perfectly cromulent word.

Nuff said.

Someone, somewhere, in the sea of cubes near me, is eating what smells like heated dog food.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Company shindig

As a new employee I really feel I should go and schmooze. Should I go though?

Would require the following:
- purchase of ticket for husband = $15
- dragging husband somewhere he REALLY doesn't want to go = too expensive to list
- parking = $12
- new dress that actually fits on body = $100-ish
- drinks to have fun at cash bar = $4.50 EACH

Very torn on whole situation...
So I was writing this really cool blog...

And I hit the publish button, and the computer ate it! And I was like...


Friday, January 10, 2003

The cutest little things

These are a collection of really sweet little games. Of course I'm a girly girl so I think they're adorable.

Thursday, January 09, 2003


To drape across your forehead
To swing concordant angles as you incline your head

This is a snippet from one of my favorite songs by TMBG. The song is on a mix CD that my husband recently put together for me. Happy fun music to go in the new car. My first car ever with a CD player actually built in. All of the songs reminded me of various things. Istanbul - that time he sang it with the SMCMen. The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas - the terrific time we had at their concert last Halloween. Mr. Excitement - how funny it is that "cafe con pain" gets stuck in our head for days whenever we hear the song.

Any time I hear a They Might Be Giants song I'm reminded of the first time I heard their music, junior year of high school. I'd borrowed a tape from a friend, and put it into the cassette player of my car, while driving, with my parents, to a swim meet. I Palindrome I was the first song out and happened to be just after the start of the song. The first lyrics I was ever to hear were "You son of a bitch" and the last for quite a while since my parents promptly leaned over and ejected the tape.

But Bangs brings back so many happy memories for me. It reminds me of my dear friend and her constant struggle with "Should I have bangs or not?" Waking up at 2 AM in college and catching her with the scissors I had hidden from her after a depsarate plea of "don't let me cut them again!" I think you look beautiful with or without them T!

It also reminds me of my honeymoon. I was determined to cut off the long length of hair I'd grown for the wedding. Finding a good salon in London was challenge number one. Understanding some British slang was number two. Since the stylist asked, did I really mean red hair? Oh you mean copper colored! When I showed what tints I wanted. And after I'd shown her a picture of what cut I wanted, whether I'd like a "fringe." Was she going to shred my clothing for me? A fringe??? OHHHHH you mean bangs! No none for me thanks. Then the girls at the salon went into a conversation about a fancy dress ball they were going to and one of them was going as Angelica with her hair "in bunches." I've never had such a fun time. Or such a hard time convincing anyone that my husband wouldn't be mad if they were to cut off all my lovely hair!

Funny what you associate things with isn't it?

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Did I do that?

I'm a worrier. Always have been. I don't like being late to things, in case I miss something or offend someone. I get nervous around knives in the off chance that they will leap from my hands and manage to cut off a toe. I tend to think of everything that could possibly happen, worst case scenario.

This helps in some ways. I'm always over prepared. Which has come in handy on occassion (see spinal tap puking incident). But sometimes I wonder if thinking about these types of things might actually make them more likely to happen. If I'm nervous holding a knife that makes me shakier and more likely to drop it doesn't it?

I've always wondered about that stadium full of people concentrating on a tree to make it burst into flames concept. Or to quote pop culture, the scene in The Matrix when the oracle tells Neo not to worry about the vase he's about to break. Did he break it because it was fortold, or because she made him nervous about it?

A few years back Andy was out of town on a business trip, and for whatever reason the worry that stuck in my head all week was "What if I get in a car accident? Who would I call to help me?" It kept popping back in my head over and over every time I got in the car to go anywhere. Until finally the day before he was due back, someone rear-ended me. It actually turned out to be a co-worker, and neither car was damaged in any way, since it happened at about 5 mph. The one thing that I found so odd was what he kept repeating over and over after the initial "I'm so sorry." His wife had told she'd had problems with the brakes and he'd been worrying about hitting someone all week.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Good Guesser

Andy's always been able to guess his gifts. I don't know if he's just incredibly observant or if he just spent too much time hunting down Christmas presents as a kid.

Me, I like the surprise of things. I like surprising people with things. Like two years ago when I got a cutwork tablecloth for my grandmother. I even roped my sister in to steer her away from any sort of tablecloth browsing between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The moment when she opened that present and it was exactly what she wanted was incredibly gratifying. I love surprise parties, though I've never had one (big HINT here sweetie), I love that thrill and shock of opening something and finding out what it is.

Andy on the other hand likes guessing. Granted, I'm a bad liar and give away more than I should. But the thrill for him is noodling something out. I've yet to suprise him with anything I've bought him.

Take two years ago, I bought him a telescope. I paid for it on a separate card so he wouldn't look at the bill, wrapped it as soon as I got it, and slipped it under the tree. Now with just two us, it's hard not to notice a big box appearing under our Christmas tree. He asked if could shake it. I answered yes, but not vigorously. He tilted the box and declared It's a telescope! And that smaller box is it's stand! After I'd finished cursing him, I asked how he knew. He said he heard the styrafoam sliding againt the cardboard of the box. Yes, the styrafoam!

This year, he guessed in a slightly different way. He wanted a particular DVD player, so I ordered it. Christmas day, he opened it and got a big grin. Then brought down the indentical player from his office. It apparently had gone super sale and just in case he read me wrong he wanted to make sure he got it.

A few days after Christmas I found the perfect gift for him. A boxed DVD set of all the episodes of Black Adder. Being the impatient goose that I am I mentioned that I found him a great present, but it would have to wait for his birthday. He tried to tease the information out of me for about a day, then didn't mention it again. The very next day he started pulling episodes of Black Adder off the internet. Called me into his office and said look isn't this great? After watching various episodes over the past week I finally caved in last night and told him.

You've already ruined your birthday present.

They're everywhere!

Congratulations to Ken, Jenn and their brand new baby boy, Cambell Ray!

Monday, January 06, 2003

There's just something completely unsatisfying about a frozen meal for lunch

Still not much going on. Post holiday blues I guess. Tried to start the diet again today. About an hour ago I caved and ate a big bag of Doritos and a double decker moon-pie and washed it down with a 20 oz bottle of Squirt.

I guess it's back to the gym tonight.

Friday, January 03, 2003

Writer's block

I've been really stuck lately. A lot has been going on but I haven't had anything to say. It all seems exciting to me, but I haven't been able to package it in a way that I would find it interesting to read about if I were reading it on someone else's blog. So it's been pretty dry here lately and I apologize.

I got to catch up with my friend Pato (long story on the nickname, that doesn't even make sense to me anymore) and his wife, earlier this week. We all had a lovely time out a dinner, and Andy enjoyed showing off his new toys.

I also noticed Andy's picked up some interesting slang. He must have said "It's sick" about 10 times the other night, when describing his new dvd player, a particular movie, some function of the dvd player that was especially cool, etc. All this is blamed on The Sports Junkies who grew up around PG county, and now have their talk show on HFS in the mornings. They're on when Andy's alarm goes off in the morning and slowly work their way into his subconscious.

We both find the show entertaining even though I know nothing of sports, but these guys grew up where we grew up, two of them went to the high school we went to. And the majority of the show is them cutting each other down, or talking about their wife and kids, or this morning about the contents of their closets. Eventually they really do talk about sports, but I'm always still laughing from earlier segments that I don't notice they've slipped it in.

But back to the slang. They use words such as sick, silly (pronouced suhhhlly), money, it's a show, hurting, it's a lock, stupid, dude, zippy chance, and donkey. Repeatedly. With many variations I know I'm leaving out. And these are working their way into our vocabulary. In a few more months we'll both sound like an 80's sitcom re-run.

So if you're in the area you should really check them out, and if you run into me please pardon my hurting vocabulary. It's a show.