The Vacation - Day 3

The Great Misunderstanding
You know what? I'm not even going to go into it. I was going to explain in detail the whole comedy of errors of who missed who and who didn't tell who what, but it's just not worth it. It all worked out in the end.

The Hike

On day three we planned to hike the trail down to Indian Gardens or to the point that overlooks the river depending on how tired everyone got. So at about 2 we got together and packed up sandwiches, loads of water and a bunch of trail mix and set off. As we were going down we passed people on their way back up. Some said hello, some asked us about how long it took us to get where we were from the top. Then there were the people that really made you wonder "what were they thinking?" There was an elderly woman coming up with what looked like her daughter and granddaughter. She was wearing wedge thongs. You know flipflops with the thick soles? Further down past the first rest station we passed another girl coming up. She looked about 14-15. She was wearing a tank top, skirt and flip-flops. Yes really a SKIRT and FLIPFLOPS.

As we went down we also passed a good number of guides that filled us in on all the information they knew and each one tried to think of a different way to scare us. "If you haven't already used the toilets your in the first stage of de-hydration." "If you stay in the canyon after dark they can't rescue until morning because there's no way for them to see in the helicopter at night."

Every mile and a half there's a rest station where you can refill on water and use the bathroom. Well the second reststop doesn't have a bathroom but the other 2 do. When we stopped at the first station I had to ermmm use the facilities. Let me tell you they STANK. UGH I don't think I'd ever smelled anything so bad (at least to that point, worse comes later). And at some point during the stop Andy's dad said something about "Death begins in the bowels", which I missed but it came back later.

Footprints

Another thing I noticed as we walked down were how many different footprints there were of people that had been down and up before me. I just made me think of how many people come to see this place and you don't even really realize it since my footprints wiped out someone else's that had been there before. Just like someone else would wipe out my footprints after I'd gone. Ok maybe it's not as deep and philosophical as I had originally thought, but for some reason that day it really struck me.

Puddles of Pee

Andy's mom had picked up a pair of walkie-talkies when we stopped by the mall that had a range of two-miles between them. The original thought came when we were driving two cars out to the meteor crater. The plan had been for us all to go the Petrified Forest and hit the crater on the way back to the canyon. Once we hit the exit signs for the crater though, those of us in the second car had had enough driving and knew we wanted to stop at the crater first. How to convey this to the first car though? With a lot of light flashing and turn signals, we made it just fine. But imagine if we'd had some way to talk to the folks in the other car....

Thus the purchase, and the little things came in handy since some of our group was much more young and spry they head down at their own pace while us not so nimble folks (Ok I mean me specifically) took it slower. The radios were great to talk between the two sets to find out they were already at the next rest station and we had about 15-20 minutes to go (Andy was sweet and stayed with slow little me the whole way down).

You've all see the donkey trips that go in and out of the canyon right? Well donkeys make messes just as you expect them to. So once in a while we'd hit little pockets of donkey piles. They were pretty smelly. At least I thought they were...until we came to our first patch of donkey pee. That stuff reeked. It made you want to gag. And the worst part was it would come in little bursts, so there weren't piles that you could pass after a few feet. There would be yards you would have to walk to get away from the smell.

Once again the walkie-talkies came in handy. All of a sudden we hear *UGH* from Kit on the other end. *What's the matter?* *Puddles of pee!* What? What could he mean? About 15 minutes later we found out. Every donkey ever to walk the Grand Canyon had decided to stop and take a whiz in the exact same spot. Just around the corner of a switchback. So there were stairs full. And it dribbled down the path in a little stinking waterfall type formation. We could smell it from the path above, but that was nothing to the real thing. WOW, I don't know what they feed those animals but it's potent.

Going Down?

At the second rest station as I mentioned there was no restroom. So a couple of the guys went off the path to "explore the local flora." And after refilling on water and chowing down on some dried fruit we were back off again.

It's amazing how friendly people on the trail were. I guess in that situation you try to look out for others, since it's a good long way to any sort of humanity. Most people we passed just said hello. It reminded me of my orientation at college. They said "Say hello to people on the path. We're a small school so chances are you'll know the person within a week anyway. If you don't say hello people will think you're mean." That's sort of how I felt while we were walking down the path. Say hello to everyone.

One couple we passed though went a little above and beyond. "Hello? You guys going down?" As we passed them we just smiled and said yes. Once we were out of earshot though, Andy's mom turned to us and said "No, we're trying to go up. We're just really bad at it." Laughter peeled throughout the canyon.

Doe a Deer a Female Deer
Once we got to Indian Gardens we stopped, used the facilities, and ate dinner. Turkey and cheese sandwiches, trail mix, salty snacks (chips) and water. It was the best meal I think I've ever eaten. Everything tasted SO good. After we'd eaten and rested the friends we'd met up with (who were coincidently, the photographer from our wedding and his daughter) decided to turn around and head back up the trail. Andy, his dad and brothers decided to head the last mile and a half out to the point. Mom and I decided to stay put. In the nice shade, on the nice benches, with our feet nicely up. We kept one walkie-talkie they kept the other. Just as they were out of sight *a deer. come see*

So we hopped up ran around the corner and wham, there right in front of us was a mule deer. Eating her dinner. Ignoring us completely. They took off and we headed back to the benches. There was a couple also at the site that had been all the way down to Phanton Ranch and the river that morning and were on their way back up. Everything all the guides tell you not to do. They said is was so hot on the floor of the canyon that once they reached the river the sat in it for a couple of hours. They seemed to be in very good spirits though if a bit tired. They mentioned that someone else in their group had had to be airlifted out, and she asked how much it cost to leave in the helicopter. $2800, per person. That's an expensive ride.

While we were resting I discovered a water spigot that felt SO good if you rinsed of your arms and legs. I was really tempted to take my shoes off and put my sore feet in, but then was afraid I'd never want to put them back on again. After about an hour and a half some deer started running around on the hills close to where we were. About 15 minutes later we got a call *Penn should be there soon* As we were waiting a deer came through the site just munching slowly. Walking around. As Penn came around the corner I tried to point to the deer to let him know it was there. Obviously not wanting to yell "HEY LOOK A DEER!" As he came closer the deer just hung out. Poking around not really caring that people were there. If fact it only left when I sneezed. Either scared or not wanting to catch something.

Are we there yet?

Going back up was very different. It was HARD. It HURT. I'm glad I can say I've done it but I won't do it again for a long long long long time. We all reached the first rest station together. Then after that we split back up into two groups. The fast and the weary. They would radio back down to us and let us know where they were and we would let them know where we were. At one point they stopped at a "stone ampitheatre" to rest. After about 15 minutes we got to it. We radio-ed ahead and told where we were. The response *already?* We took frequent rest stops on the way back. I would feel completely rejuvenated after about 5 minutes and felt like we'd been there a really long time. Until we started walking again. Then the break wasn't nearly long enough. The problem was everything hurt but I wasn't really tired. I was wide awake and yet exhausted at the same time. It was an odd sensation.

Death Begins in the Bowels

As we kept walking and getting more and more sore we came to a point where we had to sit down. And some of us to lay down. Andy and his mom both promptly laid down in the dirt and propped their feet up on rocks. His dad and I refused. One I didn't really want to get covered any more in dirt than I already was. And if I laid down I was afraid I'd never get back up. About this point we got another radio from the fast boys *we're at the first rest station* we responded *we're laying in the dirt* the answer *death begins in the bowels*

It was too funny. We were all punchy. Lying in the dirt became hysterical and death starting in the bowels was just too odd a concept not to laugh at.

Pee - Clean - Bed

As we went on we reaced the REAL stone ampitheatre. The one we'd been at looked exactly the same, it was just a mile lower than we'd expected. I groaned internally. That meant we still had a long way to go. We kept on hiking. Remember if you will that from the top where the hotel was to the bottom where we just were is over 3000 vertifcal feet. The top of the canyon is higher than Denver, meaning the air is rather thin. Like I said, this won't be repeated for a long time. After a while we did finally reach the first rest stop. The bathrooms still smelled, but not as bad as donkey pee. And after that we trudged. I got into my habit of reapeating something in my head to keep a rythym, so I wouldn't stop. I used to do this on endurance swims. Repeating songs in my head, or a mantra of 1-2 20 to do, 1-2 19 to do etc. The ants go marching one by one was a personal favorite. Since it could be varied with my pace and also helped me keep track of how many lengths I'd done. You swimmers out there know what I'm tlaking about! Don't look at me like I'm crazy.

Anyway, the mantra repeated for that last mile and a half was Pee-Clean-Bed. All the things I wanted to do. I had to pee, I wanted to shower, I wanted to lie down. Each step I took meant I was that much closer. The trail between the switchbacks kept getting longer and longer. Which was great since it meant we were closer to the top, but since I was in the lead I was looking to find a resting place just around the next switchback which never seemed to come. Finally we couldn't take it any longer and sat down for a break. I couldn't take part one of my mantra any more and went off to "discover local flora". After a few more minutes of resting we started off again only to discover the next switchback about 5 minutes away. The first tunnel came into view about 15 minutes after that. Cheering peeled through the canyon.

As we got close to the top of the trail a guide was coming down. He was looking for a man named Brian who was alone, hurt and possibly de-hydrated. We had passed a guy lying by the side of the trail. Was aksed if he was ok and he said he was fine. We didn't question it since hadn't we just been lying in the dirt? We told the guide we suspected that was Brian and where we'd seen him. I hope he was found and is ok.

At last

We came finally to the first tunnel at which point Mom rallied us all with "Come on guys Grandma walked down and back up this far." The end was in sight. As we got to the top of the trail another deer was sitting there. Munching, hanging out, looking at us all like we were nuts. Maybe we were. Just a few more feet to the room. Having the room close the rim was nicer for more than just the view.

AHHHHH. The shower. The water turned red from the dust all over me. And felt SO good. I shoved Andy off the bed and into the bathroom and fell completely and utterly asleep.