Some funny things
Andy's been after me to blog some funny things so here they are:
Funny Thing #1 - My friend's dream, proving that my dreams are not the worst there are, and again proving why I keep her as a friend (one of millions of reasons T!). No matter how bad my day is she can send me an email an cheer me up. This one had me laughing for hours.
I had the WORST dream last night! Martha Stewart was a serial killer and she was crucifying people and dislocating their arms and other gross stuff. And all she kept saying as she did it was "it's a good thing" and other creepy Martha stuff.
I finally got a knife and tried to kill her, but she wouldn't die. Then I woke up. Blecch. I used to be a fan (down with the man!), but now, heck no. She is psycho-beast!
Funny Thing #2 - One of the women in my office (I'll call her D) is leaving the company. Usually when that happens, we get a gift certificate, a card, have a group lunch, and do some minor "roasting." She's asked that we not do any of that for her, to just keep it quiet, no fuss. So a simple happy hour, invitation by word of mouth was agreed upon. Another woman in my group (call her L) came up to my desk and wanted me to send out an email. The following exchange occured:
L: We have to send out an email about D's thing
D: NO we don't!
L: Go on send it, I'll tell you who to send it to.
D: NO! Please please just honor my final request!
Me: She's making faces at you back there.
L: We don't have to listen to her threats! She won't even work here after next week!
Me: Well...
L: Do you want me to send it?
Me: *Nodding vigorously*
L: Ok *starts to leave*
D: Don't you dare! *Takes can of cake frosting and sprays a glob on her finger*
L: You don't scare me.
They both leave my desk, and by the time I get to L's desk she's hitting send on an email, D is licking her finger and there's a bright red frosting blob on L's cheek.
Me: You really did!
D: Yeah, but she wasn't any fun, she just sat there and kept typing!
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Sunday, June 06, 2004
The Vacation Day 9 - Out to Adelaide
The next morning we went back into town. Mailed the postcards I'd written along the way, picked up some Aboriginal paintings for my Uncle, and had one last look around the city. By late afternoon it was time to go to the airport.
Saying goodbye to my folks wasn't as hard this time as it was when they came to visit us almost 2 years ago. For one thing I was still going to be in the same country, they could still get to me in a reasonable hurry if I really needed them to. For another, they'll be home soon, only a few more months. That's all not to say I didn't cry some when the plane took off.
The plane ride was uneventful, we slept and read and ate what they brought us. I forget if it was this plane ride or the one on the way to Alice if we were forced to watch Mona Lisa Smile. If you haven't seen it yet I can tell you, don't. It's not worth the money. The whole thing was tired and predictable, and ends exactly the way you think it will. Atleast I assume so. I only watched the first hour before ignoring the world around me entirely and reading my book. But Andy said it was pretty awful.
We arrived in Adelaide later that evening and went straight to the hotel. Unfortunately, we had to rearrange our luggage a bit since the next morning we were headed back to the airport to catch a puddle jumper to Kanagaroo Island.
The next morning we went back into town. Mailed the postcards I'd written along the way, picked up some Aboriginal paintings for my Uncle, and had one last look around the city. By late afternoon it was time to go to the airport.
Saying goodbye to my folks wasn't as hard this time as it was when they came to visit us almost 2 years ago. For one thing I was still going to be in the same country, they could still get to me in a reasonable hurry if I really needed them to. For another, they'll be home soon, only a few more months. That's all not to say I didn't cry some when the plane took off.
The plane ride was uneventful, we slept and read and ate what they brought us. I forget if it was this plane ride or the one on the way to Alice if we were forced to watch Mona Lisa Smile. If you haven't seen it yet I can tell you, don't. It's not worth the money. The whole thing was tired and predictable, and ends exactly the way you think it will. Atleast I assume so. I only watched the first hour before ignoring the world around me entirely and reading my book. But Andy said it was pretty awful.
We arrived in Adelaide later that evening and went straight to the hotel. Unfortunately, we had to rearrange our luggage a bit since the next morning we were headed back to the airport to catch a puddle jumper to Kanagaroo Island.
The Vacation Day 8 - Uncle's Tour
The next morning we got up early-ish, cleaned up, packed up, and headed to breakfast. Yes, a nice full breakfast, toast, eggs, bacon, and baked beans. There's a comedian who makes a joke about British food, after having asked for eggs and getting them smothered in baked beans. He asks the waiter "Was there an accident in the kitchen? Perhaps somebody stumbled?" Hard not to think of that when breakfast comes out complete with baked beans. They were tasty though.
My Mom had arranged for us to go on a 4 wheel drive Bush tour, so we met our guide. A man named Uncle. He told his real name, which I promptly forgot since he said that everyone called him Uncle except the people he didn't like. So Uncle he was. We finished up brekky and hopped/climbed into the vehicle and off we went.
Uncle took us around different parts of the cattle station, stopping to show us nice views of Mt. Connor. On the way we saw a flock of wild Cockatoos which was astounding in itself since I've only ever seen them in pet stores, but also they apparently go for A$200,000 a piece. On the black market of course. We also saw a few of the livestock, several kangaroos, and a Honey Ant nest, although no Honey Ants.
As we stopped each time we'd get out and take a little walk, Uncle pointing various things out and telling us the history of the area. He showed us a ton of different plants, half of which I don't remember, almost all of which looked alike. To me anyway. He showed us what you could eat to survive and what would kill you in 2 minutes if you ate it. Again I swear they were the same plant. In other cases, it was the same plant, just the different soil type in that specific area made the thing toxic. Biggest lesson I learned is to never ever ever go out in the Bush by myself. I'd never survive.
After the tour it was back to the roadhouse for lunch and then on the road back to Alice. That night, once we were home again I got to do laundry! Seems weird to be excited about it, but a week and a half in, after been through some hot weather, getting laundry done was a thrill. You mean I don't have to smell like the zoo anymore??
The next morning we got up early-ish, cleaned up, packed up, and headed to breakfast. Yes, a nice full breakfast, toast, eggs, bacon, and baked beans. There's a comedian who makes a joke about British food, after having asked for eggs and getting them smothered in baked beans. He asks the waiter "Was there an accident in the kitchen? Perhaps somebody stumbled?" Hard not to think of that when breakfast comes out complete with baked beans. They were tasty though.
My Mom had arranged for us to go on a 4 wheel drive Bush tour, so we met our guide. A man named Uncle. He told his real name, which I promptly forgot since he said that everyone called him Uncle except the people he didn't like. So Uncle he was. We finished up brekky and hopped/climbed into the vehicle and off we went.
Uncle took us around different parts of the cattle station, stopping to show us nice views of Mt. Connor. On the way we saw a flock of wild Cockatoos which was astounding in itself since I've only ever seen them in pet stores, but also they apparently go for A$200,000 a piece. On the black market of course. We also saw a few of the livestock, several kangaroos, and a Honey Ant nest, although no Honey Ants.
As we stopped each time we'd get out and take a little walk, Uncle pointing various things out and telling us the history of the area. He showed us a ton of different plants, half of which I don't remember, almost all of which looked alike. To me anyway. He showed us what you could eat to survive and what would kill you in 2 minutes if you ate it. Again I swear they were the same plant. In other cases, it was the same plant, just the different soil type in that specific area made the thing toxic. Biggest lesson I learned is to never ever ever go out in the Bush by myself. I'd never survive.
After the tour it was back to the roadhouse for lunch and then on the road back to Alice. That night, once we were home again I got to do laundry! Seems weird to be excited about it, but a week and a half in, after been through some hot weather, getting laundry done was a thrill. You mean I don't have to smell like the zoo anymore??
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
A Most Humiliating Morning
I stopped by Starbucks this morning. I ordered a coffee and decided to treat myself to one of the muffins. The chocolate one with cream cheese. Named a "Blackbottom Cupcake."
At the register I told the clerk what coffee I had ordered and then asked "Could I also get a Blackbottom?" He stared at me and started laughing. I finally got it, blushed and paid.
Over at the condiment station I opened up my coffee to put in my sugar. Remember how before I told you about feeling self-conscious about the number of sugars I use? Well, as I put two packets of sugar in my coffee, the guy standing next to me said, "Boy, you sure like it sweet, don't you?"
The day just isn't going to get better is it?
I stopped by Starbucks this morning. I ordered a coffee and decided to treat myself to one of the muffins. The chocolate one with cream cheese. Named a "Blackbottom Cupcake."
At the register I told the clerk what coffee I had ordered and then asked "Could I also get a Blackbottom?" He stared at me and started laughing. I finally got it, blushed and paid.
Over at the condiment station I opened up my coffee to put in my sugar. Remember how before I told you about feeling self-conscious about the number of sugars I use? Well, as I put two packets of sugar in my coffee, the guy standing next to me said, "Boy, you sure like it sweet, don't you?"
The day just isn't going to get better is it?
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
The Vacation Day 7 - Out to Ayers Rock
The next morning we got up early and packed up the car and hit the road heading out to see Ayers Rock, or it's official name, Uluru. Along the way we found out that if there was any kind of unusual rock formation or tree of any kind, it was considered sacred by the Aboriginals. Considering they were roaming around the land for thousands of years before any one else got there, they've had a lot of time to build stories around distinctive landmarks.
Along the way there we stopped at a roadhouse for breakfast. I should explain that in the outback things are few and far between. If you own a cattle station your nearest neighbor will not be a few miles away, they'll be a few thousand miles away. So the buildings along the roadside become a sort of jack-of-all-trades type of place. Usually including a restaurant, store, campground, hotel, public park, anything that someone passing through might need; because the next time you see someone else may not be for miles, and depending on your mode of travel, days. So back to the story, we stopped at Stuart's Well Roadhouse, which aside from being a lovely place to provide a hearty breakfast is home to Dinky the Dingo. Dinky has a rather unique talent. He sings and plays the piano. Just click the link for the full story, but in short we got to meet and hear Dinky.
After breaksfast and quite a bit of driving we got to the park with Uluru, and lesser known (at least to me) The Olgas. We hiked up a path between the Olgas and got our first real experience with the flies. Flies in the outback are not like ours at home. They're smaller for one, and a lot more annoying. We were lucky that we were there in the fall, apparently the summer is a lot worse. What do they do you ask? Well, there's not much water in the desert, so when people come through the flies follow them. And try to get in any orifice that might offer some water. Ears, nose, mouth, eyes, they fly at them, repeatedly. And persistently. My Dad has a theory that each fly is assigned to one person. There may be more than one fly assigned to that person, but once they find their target they stick with them until the person gets back inside.
After the Olgas we drove over to Ayers Rock. It's a lot bigger in person and is incredibly neat. It honestly looks as if someone has dropped a rock from the sky. It's all one hugely consistent piece. Up close and personal the different nooks and crannies give each section its own feel. The aboriginals have different stories about different features of the rock, some specific to men, some to women, some to the people as a whole, some to various heroes and legends. I'd heard that before we arrived, and after seeing it I can honestly believe it. The rock changes how it looks from each angle as you walk around. Sunset was actually cloudy the day we were there, so we only got a taste of it, but it was good to experience anyway.
We drove part of the way back that night and stopped at a roadhouse to get dinner and some sleep. You really shouldn't drive through the outback at night. It's DARK. I mean pith black. And there are a lot of nocturnal animals running around at night, some of them rather large, and they really would leave a nasty dent in your car. Especially, the roaming cattle.
At the roadhouse we ate a full meal. The roadhouses certainly don't skimp on the food. We you ask for breakfast they bring several pieces of toast, eggs, bacon, usually a roasted tomato, and coffee or tea. Dinner wasn't any different. I got Chicken Parma (short for Parmesan). As a side note, the Aussies seemed big on shortening words. Breakfast was brekky, football was footy, mosquitos were mozzies, crawfish were yabbies, and on and on the list goes. After dinner it was off to our rooms where we promptly passed out.
The next morning we got up early and packed up the car and hit the road heading out to see Ayers Rock, or it's official name, Uluru. Along the way we found out that if there was any kind of unusual rock formation or tree of any kind, it was considered sacred by the Aboriginals. Considering they were roaming around the land for thousands of years before any one else got there, they've had a lot of time to build stories around distinctive landmarks.
Along the way there we stopped at a roadhouse for breakfast. I should explain that in the outback things are few and far between. If you own a cattle station your nearest neighbor will not be a few miles away, they'll be a few thousand miles away. So the buildings along the roadside become a sort of jack-of-all-trades type of place. Usually including a restaurant, store, campground, hotel, public park, anything that someone passing through might need; because the next time you see someone else may not be for miles, and depending on your mode of travel, days. So back to the story, we stopped at Stuart's Well Roadhouse, which aside from being a lovely place to provide a hearty breakfast is home to Dinky the Dingo. Dinky has a rather unique talent. He sings and plays the piano. Just click the link for the full story, but in short we got to meet and hear Dinky.
After breaksfast and quite a bit of driving we got to the park with Uluru, and lesser known (at least to me) The Olgas. We hiked up a path between the Olgas and got our first real experience with the flies. Flies in the outback are not like ours at home. They're smaller for one, and a lot more annoying. We were lucky that we were there in the fall, apparently the summer is a lot worse. What do they do you ask? Well, there's not much water in the desert, so when people come through the flies follow them. And try to get in any orifice that might offer some water. Ears, nose, mouth, eyes, they fly at them, repeatedly. And persistently. My Dad has a theory that each fly is assigned to one person. There may be more than one fly assigned to that person, but once they find their target they stick with them until the person gets back inside.
After the Olgas we drove over to Ayers Rock. It's a lot bigger in person and is incredibly neat. It honestly looks as if someone has dropped a rock from the sky. It's all one hugely consistent piece. Up close and personal the different nooks and crannies give each section its own feel. The aboriginals have different stories about different features of the rock, some specific to men, some to women, some to the people as a whole, some to various heroes and legends. I'd heard that before we arrived, and after seeing it I can honestly believe it. The rock changes how it looks from each angle as you walk around. Sunset was actually cloudy the day we were there, so we only got a taste of it, but it was good to experience anyway.
We drove part of the way back that night and stopped at a roadhouse to get dinner and some sleep. You really shouldn't drive through the outback at night. It's DARK. I mean pith black. And there are a lot of nocturnal animals running around at night, some of them rather large, and they really would leave a nasty dent in your car. Especially, the roaming cattle.
At the roadhouse we ate a full meal. The roadhouses certainly don't skimp on the food. We you ask for breakfast they bring several pieces of toast, eggs, bacon, usually a roasted tomato, and coffee or tea. Dinner wasn't any different. I got Chicken Parma (short for Parmesan). As a side note, the Aussies seemed big on shortening words. Breakfast was brekky, football was footy, mosquitos were mozzies, crawfish were yabbies, and on and on the list goes. After dinner it was off to our rooms where we promptly passed out.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
The Vacation Day 6 - Alice Springs
The next day in town my folks took us out to some of their favorite places. First the Desert Park.
It was packed full of different exhibits, native animals, and birds. You simply cannot believe the huge variety of birds that in Australia. Big, small, most of them brightly colored. And birds of prey. Huge Golden Eagle, small, quick Hobbies. I remember watching a documentary on the Disney channel when I was younger about the wide variety of life in the desert. It's not a joke.
After the park we went to Standley Chasm for some lunch and a nice hike. All I can say is that it was a beautiful and relaxing place. And that when you order chicken tenders there, you need to tell them how many tenders you want. Otherwise you just get one.
Next back in to town for my favorite bit. Shopping. We went to several places, including a souvenier stand where I picked up some Vegemite (more about that later), and then off to The Gem Cave. The Gem Cave is a local store in Alice that specializes in opals. Now opals aren't particularly popular here in America, other than for folks with October birthdays. After having seen the opals in Australia, I think I've figured out why. Such a huge variety of colors, sizes, shapes. It was truly amazing. And amazingly expensive. Opals are extremely good in Australia. They also extremely popular. Maybe in South Africa diamonds are incredibly expensive as well. I thought the closer you got to a source, the cheaper it would be. No such luck. But, thanks to sweet, wonderful, kind, good, loving, (is that enough dear?) Andy, I got a lovely pair of earrings, that everyone here seems to think are turquoises. Since that's the color of the opals I got.
Returning back to the house we rested and cleaned up and then got on the way out the door back in to town for a Didjeridoo show. First dinner out, at an Italian place naturally. Then to the Moonlight Dreaming Theatre where we watched a local (now a friend of my Dad's) play about 20 different types of Didjs. Incredible just about covers it.
A few things I forgot to mention about our first night in Alice:
We went to a hotel/campground that backed to a large hill. On the hill lived a large colony of Rock Wallabies. The hotel sells bags of alfalfa pellets that you can then use to feed the wallbies. So we did. It took a little convincing to get them down off the hill, but once they came up and grabbed hold of your hand with their paw, they weren't about to let that food get away. Paws with surprisingly long claws I might add.
Also that night we drove out of town off road, away from the city light (what little there was). Out there we saw the stars. Not like you see them here in DC. I mean we same them big bright and in person. There is definitely a Milky Way up there folks and it is gorgeous.
The next day in town my folks took us out to some of their favorite places. First the Desert Park.
It was packed full of different exhibits, native animals, and birds. You simply cannot believe the huge variety of birds that in Australia. Big, small, most of them brightly colored. And birds of prey. Huge Golden Eagle, small, quick Hobbies. I remember watching a documentary on the Disney channel when I was younger about the wide variety of life in the desert. It's not a joke.
After the park we went to Standley Chasm for some lunch and a nice hike. All I can say is that it was a beautiful and relaxing place. And that when you order chicken tenders there, you need to tell them how many tenders you want. Otherwise you just get one.
Next back in to town for my favorite bit. Shopping. We went to several places, including a souvenier stand where I picked up some Vegemite (more about that later), and then off to The Gem Cave. The Gem Cave is a local store in Alice that specializes in opals. Now opals aren't particularly popular here in America, other than for folks with October birthdays. After having seen the opals in Australia, I think I've figured out why. Such a huge variety of colors, sizes, shapes. It was truly amazing. And amazingly expensive. Opals are extremely good in Australia. They also extremely popular. Maybe in South Africa diamonds are incredibly expensive as well. I thought the closer you got to a source, the cheaper it would be. No such luck. But, thanks to sweet, wonderful, kind, good, loving, (is that enough dear?) Andy, I got a lovely pair of earrings, that everyone here seems to think are turquoises. Since that's the color of the opals I got.
Returning back to the house we rested and cleaned up and then got on the way out the door back in to town for a Didjeridoo show. First dinner out, at an Italian place naturally. Then to the Moonlight Dreaming Theatre where we watched a local (now a friend of my Dad's) play about 20 different types of Didjs. Incredible just about covers it.
A few things I forgot to mention about our first night in Alice:
We went to a hotel/campground that backed to a large hill. On the hill lived a large colony of Rock Wallabies. The hotel sells bags of alfalfa pellets that you can then use to feed the wallbies. So we did. It took a little convincing to get them down off the hill, but once they came up and grabbed hold of your hand with their paw, they weren't about to let that food get away. Paws with surprisingly long claws I might add.
Also that night we drove out of town off road, away from the city light (what little there was). Out there we saw the stars. Not like you see them here in DC. I mean we same them big bright and in person. There is definitely a Milky Way up there folks and it is gorgeous.
The Vacation - A few side notes
A few things from Sydney I forgot to mention:
Coming in to the airport getting our baggage there was a sniffer dog. Sniffing mainly for drugs or plants that shouldn't be coming in to the country. It was an adorable beagle, who was very serious in his duty. Sniffing bags here and there. Stopping at a baggage cart the dog started sniffing like mad. He stood on his back legs and sniffed up towards a plastic bag at the top of the bag pile. The guard took him all around the cart but he just kept sniffing that bag. The guard took it down and let the dog get a better smell. The beagle sniffed at it and started walking away but just kept coming back. The guard called to the woman still waiting for another bag, "Ma'am do you have any plants in here? Any food?" She thought for a moment and replied "Just some donuts." The guard rolled his eyes, pulled on the dog's leash and mumbled "Donuts. Come along you. You weren't trained for donuts!"
There are bats that come out at night in Sydney. Very, very large bats. In fact the first night we were there one flew over our heads into the nearby trees. I sort of shrieked and said "Look a Flying Fox!" A local passing by happily corrected me. "Oh no, those are fruit bats. Flying foxes are larger." If it had been any larger the tree would have toppled over when it landed. That sucker was HUGE.
A delicious note about Australia in general:
They seem very fond of flavored milk. It was anywhere that you might stop for a snack. All flavors, strawberry, chocolate, banana...YES! Banana milk. Nestle Quik banana flavored milk. Like we used to have when I was little, but that you can't find here any more. Anywhere. When we stopped at a grocery store I picked up a canister, yes the old style canister that you have to use the spoon to pry the top off of! I'm happily drinking a glass of it right now as I type. This will be my birthday request from my family. Forget the other things Australian that they can send to me. While they're there I want them to send me as much banana milk powder as they possibly can. And while they're at it, they can toss in a few of the other fun flavors, like Chocolate Orange.
YUM.
A few things from Sydney I forgot to mention:
Coming in to the airport getting our baggage there was a sniffer dog. Sniffing mainly for drugs or plants that shouldn't be coming in to the country. It was an adorable beagle, who was very serious in his duty. Sniffing bags here and there. Stopping at a baggage cart the dog started sniffing like mad. He stood on his back legs and sniffed up towards a plastic bag at the top of the bag pile. The guard took him all around the cart but he just kept sniffing that bag. The guard took it down and let the dog get a better smell. The beagle sniffed at it and started walking away but just kept coming back. The guard called to the woman still waiting for another bag, "Ma'am do you have any plants in here? Any food?" She thought for a moment and replied "Just some donuts." The guard rolled his eyes, pulled on the dog's leash and mumbled "Donuts. Come along you. You weren't trained for donuts!"
There are bats that come out at night in Sydney. Very, very large bats. In fact the first night we were there one flew over our heads into the nearby trees. I sort of shrieked and said "Look a Flying Fox!" A local passing by happily corrected me. "Oh no, those are fruit bats. Flying foxes are larger." If it had been any larger the tree would have toppled over when it landed. That sucker was HUGE.
A delicious note about Australia in general:
They seem very fond of flavored milk. It was anywhere that you might stop for a snack. All flavors, strawberry, chocolate, banana...YES! Banana milk. Nestle Quik banana flavored milk. Like we used to have when I was little, but that you can't find here any more. Anywhere. When we stopped at a grocery store I picked up a canister, yes the old style canister that you have to use the spoon to pry the top off of! I'm happily drinking a glass of it right now as I type. This will be my birthday request from my family. Forget the other things Australian that they can send to me. While they're there I want them to send me as much banana milk powder as they possibly can. And while they're at it, they can toss in a few of the other fun flavors, like Chocolate Orange.
YUM.
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