Some funny things

Andy's been after me to blog some funny things so here they are:

Funny Thing #1 - My friend's dream, proving that my dreams are not the worst there are, and again proving why I keep her as a friend (one of millions of reasons T!). No matter how bad my day is she can send me an email an cheer me up. This one had me laughing for hours.

I had the WORST dream last night! Martha Stewart was a serial killer and she was crucifying people and dislocating their arms and other gross stuff. And all she kept saying as she did it was "it's a good thing" and other creepy Martha stuff.

I finally got a knife and tried to kill her, but she wouldn't die. Then I woke up. Blecch. I used to be a fan (down with the man!), but now, heck no. She is psycho-beast!

Funny Thing #2 - One of the women in my office (I'll call her D) is leaving the company. Usually when that happens, we get a gift certificate, a card, have a group lunch, and do some minor "roasting." She's asked that we not do any of that for her, to just keep it quiet, no fuss. So a simple happy hour, invitation by word of mouth was agreed upon. Another woman in my group (call her L) came up to my desk and wanted me to send out an email. The following exchange occured:
L: We have to send out an email about D's thing
D: NO we don't!
L: Go on send it, I'll tell you who to send it to.
D: NO! Please please just honor my final request!
Me: She's making faces at you back there.
L: We don't have to listen to her threats! She won't even work here after next week!
Me: Well...
L: Do you want me to send it?
Me: *Nodding vigorously*
L: Ok *starts to leave*
D: Don't you dare! *Takes can of cake frosting and sprays a glob on her finger*
L: You don't scare me.

They both leave my desk, and by the time I get to L's desk she's hitting send on an email, D is licking her finger and there's a bright red frosting blob on L's cheek.
Me: You really did!
D: Yeah, but she wasn't any fun, she just sat there and kept typing!