They weren't joking

So when I first started feeling the baby move everything I read said it would feel like gas bubbles. And when I read these things I thought to myself "Gas bubbles? Are they serious? What exactly does a gas bubble have to do with a baby moving?"

So the first time I felt it move and couldn't decide whether or not that was the baby or the pizza I had for lunch I understood.

With that in mind you'd think I would have believed them when they said soon instead of gas bubbles it will feel like karate kicks. But no. I thought to myself "Karate kicks? Are they serious?"

So last night when the baby did something that seriously felt like it was using my stomach to pole vault itself around I was surprised. And when this activity continued on through the night, enough that I kept waking up and going "OW! Quit it!" I was surprised.

All I can say is, "Sweetie, this is definitely YOUR kid. It doesn't seem to really wake up until about 10 PM. It pulls all-nighters. It sleeps in late. It brings new meaning to our old friends' teasing of being on Porter-Standard-Time."

Hmmm

How can it be considered a "delicate condition" when I feel like a moose?

I'm very predictable

I went to my grandmother's for dinner last night. Talking to her beforehand she mentioned she would be cooking chicken for dinner and would be having green beans and corn and stuffing on the side. I casually asked if she could do me a favor and before I could even get the question out she said, "I know. You want me to wait and not make the stuffing. You want to make the StoveTop when you get here."

I guess I've made this request a few times before.

One more for the list

Suddenly everyone feels very comfortable talking about my boobs.

I don't include myself in "everyone."

Ohhh for a nice, tall, cold one

Many things about pregnancy so far I've enjoyed. Some I haven't been thrilled about, but for the most part I've been very happy with the whole experience.

I haven't really been all that sick, although there were a FEW days.

I haven't gained a ton of weight, only 10 pounds so far at month 5, not too shabby huh?

I haven't had any bizarre cravings, although there are several foods that I simply cannot look at.

But the thing that I've really missed is having a drink.

Let me make it very clear, I'm not a drinker. In fact pre-pregnancy, I would have A beer about once every six months. Actually thinking about it, probably every 8 months. That's all. Not an every day thing. Heck! Not every an every week/month thing. Just the occasional indulgence.

Since I've been pregnant though, and the thought that I simply CANNOT have a drink has driven me up a wall.

Although to be perfectly honest I don't think it's about the taste, or the relaxing, or the sheer indulgence of it. I think it's due to the following:

1. Random strangers seem to feel completely justified in patting my belly.

2. Woman Type-A who has kids, has told me the exact same thing "Oh just you wait. EVERYTHING changes." But that's as far as they're willing to speak on the subject. Apparently this is some sort of secret society and I'll get a pamphlet as I'm leaving the hospital on how to master this skill.

3. Woman Type-B who has kids, has filled me in on the excruiating details of her labor. How long, how awful the contractions were, how long she was pushing, how she begged for the epidural, how they gave her the epidural but punctured a sac in her spine and she was bed-ridden for a week afterward, how the saddle block didn't work and she felt every inch of the c-section, how many stitches she had and the exact placement of each and every one...Shall I go on? Because I've heard every one of these stories and believe me these women DO go on and on and on and on....

4. And my personal favorite, suddenly everyone's a comedian. I'm now the butt of jokes about going to the bathroom, moodiness, beach balls, random cravings, and of course I'm now the apparent owner of a "baby brain."

Please tell me again why aren't allowed to have that drink!!??

Baby Mine

Baby Mine


baby01_side
Originally uploaded by apg.

A week later and I still get excited/choked up/scared/thrilled to the bone/happy enough to sing/you name it...when I see your picture. Only 20-ish weeks more until I get to meet you!

Picture Day!

As a kid I hated picture day. My hair had to be fixed just so. I had to wear an outfit I usually hated. The camerman always told me to smile, no sweetie SMILE, let me see those teeth.

But today I get to see the first picture ever of our baby. I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. I've been on the verge of tears just thinking about finally getting to see that little person inside of me.

I hope our little one likes picture day today as much as I used to hate them.

I promise sweetie clothes aren't an issue and I won't care what your hair looks like. I just want to say hi.

Oh, the things I have to look forward to

Andy and I were at Blockbuster the other night trying to pick out a movie for the evening. While we were there a man was out with his three kids trying to pick out their movie for the evening.

The kids were approximately 5, 3, and maybe 1, and you could completely tell that mom had said "Get them out of the house now, go get a movvie or something, I need 10 minutes of peace!" The kids were swarming everywhere. I don't know how they managed a swarm with just 3 of them, but believe me they did. All of the saying "Dad! Dad! DAD! Look at this one!"

The topper on the cake though was when the 5 year old boy looked at the rack, snatched up a movie and said, and no I'm NOT making this up, "OOOH! Check out this joint, yo!"

A new form of shopping

I've always loved shopping, and woohoo! I've got tons of new stuff to shop for! First stop, maternity clothes. Andy thoroughly enjoyed himself doing this with me. He kept asking how a pregnant woman was supposed to squeeze through the tiny aisles they had in Motherhood. Then he got to ask about why all the shirts seemed to be made to over-emphasize large bellies.

When I pointed out that "Dear, they are maternity shirts. They're supposed to be roomy like that." His answer was "Well, sure, but do they have to cut them so that it makes you look twice as big? It's as if you're walking around saying *in the manner of Strongbad* "Gaze upon me as I create life anew."

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

The hormones, they have taken over

So I know that the hormones are important for baby growth, etc. but do they really have to take over my brain completely? I can't listen to the news without getting teary-eyed (heck I can't watch someone win on Wheel of Fortune without getting teary-eyed). I can't go through 2 hours at work without someone completely honking me off for something that only mildly irritated me 3 months ago.

The worst though, I think, is that there's no break between the happy, sad, and bitchy. One minute I'm laughing hysterically at something that I swear didn't used to be funny and then next I'm sobbing uncontrollably over that touching telephone ad.

Say a few prayers for Andy, the next few months are gonna be mighty fun for him.